Showing posts with label Essex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Essex. Show all posts

Thursday, January 10, 2013

The New 'We're Just Standing Around With Our Thumbs Up Our Arses'...

Insp Brad Dickel, of Leigh police, invited the resident to call him directly with any information.
He added: “It’s something we are aware of, we’ve used a multi-agency approach and a number of enquries are ongoing.”
That's nice for you. Mind how you go, officer. Watch out for reports about lions!

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Collective Punishment Still All The Rage In 2013, Then...

The £18.5million Roscommon Way extension was opened in January in a bid to ease traffic and help Charfleets Industrial Estate on Canvey expand.
However, yobs have been using the road as a racetrack since September, causing misery for residents by revving their engines, honking their horns and causing damage to the road in the early hours.
All traffic offences. So, catch them, prosecute them, impose ASBOs.

No? What, too much like hard work, Essex Police?
An Essex Police spokesperson said: “Our policing operations to combat anti-social bikers on Roscommon Way appear to have only fixed the problem short term. We are looking into a more robust way of combating the problem in the long term.
“We are continuing to liaise with the highways authority in a bid to alter the road layout to prevent such dangerous riding.”
The plans could include introducing traffic calming measures such as speed humps or chicanes to force motorists to slow down.
Hang on, 'motorists'? I thought we were talking about 'rogue bikers'?

Friday, December 14, 2012

I Looked Up 'Gormless' In The Dictionary...

...and found these two specimens of Essex 'manhood' as illustrations of the definition:


Form an orderly queue, ladies!
Two thieves who stole a 'priceless' artwork by the sculptor Henry Moore and sold it at a scrapyard for £46 have each been jailed for a year.
Liam Hughes, 22, and 19-year-old Jason Parker stole the Working Model for Sundial - believed to be worth around half a million pounds - from the grounds of the Henry Moore Foundation in Hertfordshire.
Now, I'm no Henry Moore fan, and I can't help but feel its scrap value isn't far off its actual worth to me.

But really...
Henry Moore is widely regarded as one of the most important British artists of the 20th Century, and his creations have fetched millions at auction.
Neither of the men had any idea of the true value of what they had taken, St Albans Crown Court heard.
Yes, well, for once, I'm inclined to actually believe the defence!

Friday, November 23, 2012

This Is What Happens When The Police Are No Longer Trusted…

Vigilante gangs are starting to emerge on Canvey following a string of violent robberies. Residents are threatening to take matters into their hands - after three robberies were committed in the space of 48 hours.
 What else are they expected to do? Just pay their council tax for a non-service?
One man, who would not be named, said people had enough and had been talking about taking the law into their own hands.
He said: “There has been a spate of muggings, burglaries and robberies on Canvey and now a vigilante group are out after blood. People have been out there in cars trying to search for the robbers, and taking baseball bats trying to hunt them down.
“They are trying to take matters into their own hands because there doesn't seem to have been any response from the police.”
Who can blame them, when even their pets are at risk, not just their possessions? So, are the police cognisant of this danger to their future, and determined to do all they can to put this breach of trust right?
Supt Andy Prophet said: “We’ve heard reports that some people in Canvey have said they will carry out patrols but we can’t condone such activities.
“If people want to help us we would prefer that they dial 999 if they witness a crime in progress or call 101 if the information is less urgent.
“Residents can also help by setting up Neighbourhood Watch groups or by joining the Special Constabulary. ”
That'll be 'no' then. And if you can't see the writing on the wall, Andy, you're no Prophet...