" They come here because it is so colourful, exciting and lively..."

"..., but when they’ve been here for a bit they want to make it just like back home."

No, no. It's not what you think!

Stereotypically, they are hard workers, miserly, and fastidious doorstep polishers, and they have flooded the trendiest part of Berlin with yuppie residents since the fall of the city’s infamous Wall over two decades ago.

The newcomers hail from a wealthy region in Germany’s south-west called Swabia. But their presence in the capital has now provoked a furious outburst from one of the country’s leading politicians, who has accused them of importing nauseating provincialism to metropolitan Berlin.

Quite a turn-up for the books, eh?

Vive La France! Again!

OK, yes, it was suspended. But as we are always told at this time of year, it's the thought that counts...

A French psychiatrist has been convicted of manslaughter six years after one of her patients hacked an elderly man to death. Danielle Canarelli, 58, was handed a one-year suspended prison sentence for her 'grave error' in failing to recognise that her paranoid schizophrenic patient Joël Gaillard posed a public risk.

Refreshing, eh?

The doctor, who has over 30 years of experience and currently works at Marseille's Edouard-Toulouse hospital, was also ordered to pay 8,500 euros to the victim's children, in the groundbreaking case that could affect the way patients are treated.

Better and better...

'If a psychiatrist lives in fear of being sentenced, it will have very real consequences and probably lead to harsher treatment of patients,' said Canarelli's lawyer, Sylvain Pontier.

Yes, but if it saves one life, Sylvain! Isn't that the pious retort of those who'd restrict essential liberties in other circumstances?

What Should ‘Respect’ Be Doing In A Court Of Law Anyway?

Either you can prove the accusation, or you can’t:

Lawyers for the women said they felt the women's testimony had not been respected during the trial.

It’s not about ‘respect’, it’s about proof!

The women's minister, Najat Vallaud-Belkacem, said the case had shown that better education on sex and sexuality was needed in schools.

Oh. Yeah. That’ll fix everything.

The women were hailed by their lawyers for their bravery in speaking out against a "culture of silence" surrounding sexual violence against girls on estates.

Not once in this entire story is the elephant in the room ever mentioned…