Straight From The Horse's Mouth!

Stephen Sikpi, 23, singled out dozing passengers on late night services between London Liverpool Street and Southend Victoria. He stole expensive belongings including iPhones and iPads and even an entire rucksack.

He was eventually caught after a tracker was identified on a stolen iPhone which led police to his girlfriend’s home.

Thanks be to technology!

Elizabeth Connolly, mitigating, said the first theft had been entirely opportunistic and he had no previous offences. He had only received a caution in the past.

She said: “Because he got away with it he then with it he then disengaged with reality, with the reality of what he was doing was wrong, the reality of the affect (sic) on the victims.”

There you have it - what better proof that short, lenient sentences don't work?

She said that he had difficulty “engaging” with his probation officer and so had probably not given the best impression in his pre-sentence report.

Translation: chippy little scumbag smarted off to his probation officer because, who cares what goes down in those reports anyway?

He was jailed for eight months. No order was made for costs or compensation due to his circumstances.

That'll teach him!

Hmmm, Seems To Me There’s An Easy Answer To This One…

Canterbury Prison is failing to prepare its foreign inmates for life on the outside, according to a report.

Oh, dear. What a shame. Why might this be?

An inspection found staff could not see the benefit of addressing the behaviour of prisoners who would ultimately be deported anyway.

Well…no. Frugality, and all that, eh?

So why is the Prisoner’s Friend, Nick Hardwick, getting out of his box?

But Chief Inspector of Prisons Nick Hardwick said it was difficult to tell who would be deported until near the end of a sentence and said 20 per cent were allowed to remain in the UK.

Ah. Well, since we don’t know which 20% that might be, it seems pointless to squander a potential 80% of prison staff’s effort, doesn't it?

A better approach would be to ensure that 20% were also booted out, of course. Win/win!

Make Up Your Minds, Ladies!

Crime rates among women suffering from poor mental health or substance misuse would be cut by offering medical support rather than handing out jail sentences, a poll suggests.

A poll? Run by whom?

Oh. Of course. Our old friends:

Juliet Lyon, director of the Prison Reform Trust, said: "Most women in prison are serving short sentences for petty persistent offending and non-violent crime. Most have been victims of serious crime, domestic violence and sexual abuse."

"Solutions to women's offending lie not behind bars but in effective treatment to beat addictions to drugs and drink, mental health care and help to get out of debt."

And…how is that different to men’s offending?

Meanwhile, over in CiF, Yvonne Roberts is bewailing the ‘reversal of progress’ that the sisterhood claims to be seeing due to those eeeeeevil Tory cuts:

Polls tell us that this country cares deeply about equality. However, other events over the past week indicate that it's not only the Anglican church that talks the language of equality but significantly fails to walk the walk.

In every sphere of life, in the UK and the rest of the EU, in banking, the City, law, medicine, Westminster and Whitehall, inequality is embedded and, more shamefully, is treated as the norm.

You want to have a word with Juliet, love. Equality clearly just ain't where it’s at any more.