Well, They've At Least Learnt Not To Use The Phrase 'Learning Lessons'...

Paul Dyson, independent chair of Hull's safeguarding children board, said: "The board takes extremely seriously cases which result in injuries of this kind to children. The board is aware of this case and, now that the criminal case is concluding, will consider whether any further learning is required."

Because that's always a dead giveaway...

As is the fact that - despite concerns - there was no official record:

Jon Plant, city safeguarding children manager, said: "The child was not previously on an 'at risk' register or child protection plan with Hull children's services.

"Following the incident, immediate steps were taken by professionals to remove the child and ensure their long-term wellbeing and to ensure that those responsible for causing the injuries were brought to justice."

Yes, you were very prompt after the baby was scalded with the bathwater. Pity you didn't do something before...

Health visitors and social services are understood to have had concerns about the baby in the months before it happened and had failed to gain access to see her on 12 separate occasions.

And yet, the squalor in which an inadequate young couple were bringing up a child provoked no urgency:

The Mail can reveal the authorities failed to gain access to the Bransholme house the couple were living in, despite warning signs such as 20 bags of rubbish and hundreds of soiled nappies piled high outside.

If that's 'taking cases extremely seriously', one can only wonder how they deal with the rest...

You'd Need An Electron Microscope To See My Tiny Violin This Time...

The social services chief sacked over the Baby P scandal has spoken of how her life has been unable to 'move on' since she lost her job four years ago.

She has, it seems, given an interview to - what else? - Public Servant magazine in which she seeks to portray herself as hard done by.

Isn't there a clinical term for such detachment from reality?

People used to know ask me what I'm doing now, and they're shocked when I say "nothing",' she says in the January edition of the magazine. 'They can't quite grasp that my life hasn't moved on at all in the last four years; that I can't find any work and I'm living on benefits.

'I used to have a £130,000-a-year job running my own department and was a national reference point for Ofsted for special educational needs, but no organisation will take the risk of employing me because of who I am.'

Well, actually, it's probably because you didn't run your department, you were exposed as less a 'national reference point' than an example of how not to do things, and you've become a liability and they don't want to have to spend time fighting lengthy court cases which you are still somehow fighting despite 'being on benefits'...

Shoesmith is battling for £1 million compensation after the Supreme Court refused in August 2011 to allow an appeal against a ruling that the former Haringey children’s services chief was unfairly dismissed by the then Children’s Secretary, Labour’s Ed Balls.

Who's financing this? Is it legal aid? It better damned well not be!

In the interview, Shoesmith says children are now more at risk than before the Baby P case because of the damage done to the social work profession and how social workers are now people to hide from rather than work with.

Hang on...didn't the Baby Peter murder happen because the injuries (and the men Connolly was shacked up with) were hidden from incompetent social workers under your command? Weren't they just pretending to 'work with your social workers'? Who couldn't tell the difference?

So nothing's really changed at all, has it?

Straight From The Horse's Mouth!

Stephen Sikpi, 23, singled out dozing passengers on late night services between London Liverpool Street and Southend Victoria. He stole expensive belongings including iPhones and iPads and even an entire rucksack.

He was eventually caught after a tracker was identified on a stolen iPhone which led police to his girlfriend’s home.

Thanks be to technology!

Elizabeth Connolly, mitigating, said the first theft had been entirely opportunistic and he had no previous offences. He had only received a caution in the past.

She said: “Because he got away with it he then with it he then disengaged with reality, with the reality of what he was doing was wrong, the reality of the affect (sic) on the victims.”

There you have it - what better proof that short, lenient sentences don't work?

She said that he had difficulty “engaging” with his probation officer and so had probably not given the best impression in his pre-sentence report.

Translation: chippy little scumbag smarted off to his probation officer because, who cares what goes down in those reports anyway?

He was jailed for eight months. No order was made for costs or compensation due to his circumstances.

That'll teach him!

Once Again, No Humans Involved...

A 26-year-old has been convicted of playing a part in the killing of Derby father Johnny Assani.

...

The 43-year-old father was left lying, unconscious and bleeding, on the ground in Walbrook Road, after being punched and kicked by up to 11 men. Mr Assani, of the Pear Tree area, died in hospital the following day, on August 15 last year.

But wait!

The incident began in Upper Dale Road when Mr Assani, who was driving a silver Golf, overtook Mohammed Shahid, who was in a white BMW.

Mukhaila told Nottingham Crown Court that, as his father was about to go straight across the Cavendish Island, Mr Assani noticed the man in the car behind, which was turning left, swear at him, so he went all the way round and followed the vehicle.

Shahid stopped his car outside his home in Walbrook Road. Mr Assani, of Harrington Street, Pear Tree, pulled in front of him, got out of his vehicle and walked over to Shahid, who was still sitting in his car.

Hmmm, not a totally innocent party, then?

A man superglued the front door lock of his ex-girlfriend's home when their relationship broke down.

Johnny Assani also twice turned off the electricity supply, broke two windows and made "controlling and unpleasant" messages to the woman, Derby Crown Court heard.

He was given an 18-month community order and told to pay £450 prosecution costs.

A restraining order was already in place which bars him from approaching the woman, the court was told.

I guess I won't be needing this..

*packs away tiny violin**

Let’s Hope His Children Never Get Backache…

His defending solicitor Mark Brown said McCaw had previously sought veterinary help, for Cheech.

On the night he was killed, Cheech jumped off the settee and appeared to be in pain. McCaw had given it half a paracetamol tablet in the past, but on this night, the dog snapped and bit him, said Mr Brown.

Sadly, the animal is no longer around, or it’d surely need vetinary treatment for food poisoning…

In what Mr Brown described as “quite a set of shocking circumstances”, he said that McCaw initially attempted to smother the dog, but it didn’t work, so he decided to stab it.

“The next morning, the children came down, but couldn’t find the dog. He told them it had died and had gone to doggy heaven.

“He didn’t even tell his partner and that appeared to be that. Then two days later the inspectors came knocking.”

And his ‘punishment’?

Jailing him for 18-weeks, magistrates’ also banned him from keeping animals for 20 years.

The kids..? Oh, I guess he can keep them.

Ah, I See The Problem Here - Too Little Petrol...

...or possibly, no ignition source:

Frank Phillips, representing Morgan, said he was “sorry for what happened” but acted out of paranoia after himself being a victim of an attack.

He said his client had previously been involved in an attack where petrol was thrown over him.

“When he went into this restaurant he thought the complainant’s partner had looked at him in a strange way. Clearly he misunderstood the situation,” said Mr Phillips.

Oh. You think?

“It escalated from there. That’s an explanation but it’s not put forward as an excuse,” said Mr Phillips.

*chuckles* Yeah. Sure it isn't...

Judge Keith Thomas, sitting at Swansea Crown Court, said he had acted without “any reason or provocation”.

“It was a disgraceful attack on a lady who is disabled,” he added.

“You have a quite dreadful record for violence and public order matters, particularly in the last couple of years.”

“You rarely go out, but it seems when you have, you have caused trouble,” he added.

He then jailed Morgan for 10 weeks.

So he'll serve...half?

Finally, We Reach The Limit Of Judge Hagen’s Patience…

…or do we?

A judge who tried to help a prolific offender jailed her for 12 months, saying she had reached "the end of the line".

It’s a pretty long line, with this particular judge, though.

Sundee Spaulding admitted to Judge Carol Hagen she had "messed up", after pleading guilty to failing to attend court and breaching a community order by shoplifting.

The homeless 25-year-old told the judge: "I wanted to apologise. You did give me so many chances. I did mess up and the only option now is custody. I think that is the best option. I did mess up. I know you don't care that I messed up. I'm sorry for letting you down."

Oh, give it up! It’s not going to work, and even Caring Carol has realised she can’t string this out any longer.

Though clearly, she’d like to:

Judge Hagen said she did care Spaulding had not complied with the court, and said she hoped she could go on to lead a decent life.

She said: "This was a combination of factors. I do understand, but I have no option today. It is the end of the line. I hope the future is not without hope."

So, in other words, if she’d have been given any leeway at all, this habitual criminal would again be walking free?