Joseph Gillinder, New Man…

A family has called for the culling of foxes after one…

Killed their cat? Savaged their elderly grandmother? Stole their car?

… crept into their south London home and headed towards a baby’s bedroom.

Oh. Well. That was a bit of an anticlimax.

Mr Gillinder, 31, and his partner, Vix Henstock, 28, said that foxes circle their neighbourhood in Bromley at night and they feared that one could harm Violet.

‘Circle their neighbourhood at night’? Perhaps they need to build a boma…

Mr Gillinder said he backed a cull because of the growing numbers of the creatures prowling around his neighbourhood and fears over the safety of his family.

I'm sure the people of Churchill, Alaska and the Sunderbans region of Asia feel your pain, Mr Gillinder. As does Ben Douglas...

He added: “It is one thing to have the mangy horrible creatures waltzing around the neighbourhood but last week one actually came into my house whilst my back was turned for just a minute whilst putting out the bins.

“It was in the hall and I didn’t want to chase it into the house so I took a few steps back towards the door and it ran out.

"We have a very small baby in our house and that makes it not just a small problem but one of utmost concern and worry. I dread to think what one could do to a small baby.”

If the only thing in your life of ‘utmost concern and worry’ is whether a fox will run off with your baby, then I have to say, your life is pretty good in comparison to others…

The couple have written to Bromley council asking them to clamp down on rubbish left on the streets which attracts the animals.

Bromley Council is dumping rubbish on the streets..? Really?

Shouldn't you maybe be writing to your neighbours instead, Mr Gillard?

Councillor Tim Stevens, who is Bromley council’s representative for public safety, said: “Bromley council’s approach to foxes is to discourage an increase in their population without physically harming them.

“This is achieved by advising residents to stop doing things that might encourage foxes. These include removing attractions from the garden, sealing up holes and hiding places.”

Oh! I bet Mr Gillard never thought of that. Surely everything is the responsibility of the council?