Showing posts with label hysterics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hysterics. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

So, Leads Are The Answer, Eh?

Yes, it’s the perennial cry of the comment-column and letter-page denizens of all local newspaper stories about dog attacks. If only we have laws demanding all dogs were leashed in public, all would be well.

Well…
A pensioner has told of his horror after being dragged to the floor by a dog while trying to save his puppy from its jaws. Barry Craig, 67, of Diana Close, Alverstoke was walking his five-month-old pedigree puppy at Queens Parade shops, off Privett Road, when another dog, which he believes was a Staffordshire bull terrier cross, attacked.
They were both on leads. Little good it did.
A police spokesperson said that as the other dog was on a lead, no further action will be taken by police.
If it had launched itself at a police dog, I wonder if they’d have taken the same view?
Mr Craig is unhappy that the other owner could do little to stop the attack. He said: ‘What’s the point of having a dog on a lead if you can’t control it?’
Well, indeed…

Meanwhile, in Chesterfield:
A woman was knocked out when she fell from a panic-stricken horse being attacked by a dog, Chesterfield magistrates heard.
What sort of dog? Ah. Well…
. Elizabeth Christian was riding along a bridlepath at Broadmeadows, South Normanton on June 16 when the horse panicked as a Staffordshire bull terrier-labrador cross, ignored calls from its owner and snapped at the horse…The horse suffered puncture wounds and bites. Clarke, 36, told police the 18-month-old rescue dog had slipped its lead.
/facepalm

Here, police weren't so reluctant to put the case before a magistrate, for which they should be praised, though it did little good:
JPs decided not to have the dog destroyed, but ordered it must be kept muzzled and on a lead in public areas for two years…The dog control order was applied to both Clarke and his wife, Terri-Marie Clarke, after Mr Bloore said the couple had separated since the incident and the dog lived with her.
Unless she’s built like Fatima Whitbred, how is she any more likely to be able to control it?

And what do these incidents both have in common? Powerful dogs with unsuitable temperaments and incompetent owners, on leads that proved totally ineffective as a result.

So slapping total blanket legislation on all dog owners is unlikely to be the answer. But I’ll bet it’s the one that’s eventually put in place!

Fish Are Friends Endangered Species, Not Food!

George Monbiot goes on a rant about….fish:
The Guardian wouldn't publish recipes for golden eagle or nightjar or wildcat. So why is it considered acceptable to publish recipes for equally endangered creatures of the sea?
Because golden eagles, nightjars and wildcats are all protected species. Monkfish, John Dory and halibut aren’t. Next question?
I ask this because recently I had a very short discussion with the eminent chef Angela Hartnett, after reading her recipe for a monkfish (or John Dory or halibut) stew. I tweeted her as follows:
To @angelahartnett: Love your work, but please stop publishing recipes for endangered species. Thank you. — GeorgeMonbiot (@GeorgeMonbiot) October 17, 2012
No wonder it was a ‘short discussion’! I suspect if it had been her mentor, Gordon Ramsay, it’d have been even shorter!
Someone else replied, saying: "would that not be censorship? Surely Guardian readers have the nous to apply a bit of common sense?"
Oh, hardly!
Angela picked up this response, and wrote: "agree Guardian readers are savvy buy from a sustainable source like @fishforthought".
But George wasn’t happy with that. What a shocker, eh?
…here's why I believe it is inadequate:
Take a deep breath…
If she wants people to buy from Fish for Thought (a Cornish supplier that tries, when it can, to sell what it calls "sustainable" fish), why doesn't she say so when she publishes her recipes?
Ummm, because it’s advertising, George? And most publications have to be careful about that?
I contacted Fish for Thought and asked them whether the monkfish they sell has been certified by the Marine Stewardship Council. (This is the only guarantee of anything approaching "sustainable"). They told me: "No – our monkfish is not MSC-certified. I don't know whether there is any MSC monkfish anywhere to be honest."
Clearly, since there’s no shortage of monkfish, George is the only person in the UK worried about this!
As Fish for Thought freely admits, buying from this company is no guarantee of sustainability. I noticed, for example, that they're promoting scallops on their website. They told me that the scallops are caught by dredging. This is one of the most damaging of all kinds of fishing…
But they taste so good pan-fried with bacon and black pudding!
The Good Fish Guide says the following about monkfish: "Scientists say they have such poor data about the number of fish that are caught that it is impossible to produce accurate advice on the status of the stocks, and they are calling for much more stringent monitoring of these fisheries … The species is targeted by a number of modern fishing gears, making this species vulnerable throughout its range."
Right, so if not monkfish…what?
Buying halibut is likely to be even worse than buying monkfish. The Good Fish Guide reports that wild Atlantic halibut are "heavily overfished and listed as an endangered species". The guide gives it a rating of 5: the highest level of environmental damage.
*sighs* What’s left? Pilchards?
I would love to believe that Guardian readers are savvy about the fish they buy, but I'm constantly amazed by the number of right-on, socially conscious people who don't think twice about buying rare species. Or perhaps it's not so amazing. If the papers keep telling them that cooking these animals is normal and acceptable, by specifying their use in recipes, it's easy for people to imagine that there can't be a problem.
Or perhaps they just think life’s too short to worry about the long-term sustainability of fish?
I don't mean to single her out, as almost all the chefs who write for the papers include vulnerable or endangered species in their recipes. The notable exception at the Guardian is Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall. I find it astonishing that his excellent and highly visible campaigns seem to have had so little impact on other people who work for this newspaper and its sister publication, the Observer.
Oh, chefs! Why can’t you all be just like Hugh?
What's the point of telling us how to cook a species we shouldn't eat?
Angela and Nigel Slater wisely decided to ignore his further interrogation, but Yotam Ottolenghi responded:
"My main point is that my top priority is to deliver delicious recipes. That is, to share with my readers all the wonderful food the world has got to offer. I am not a campaigner. When it comes to choosing my ingredients, I try to keep myself informed and not use particularly contentious ingredients. I believe that different readers will make their own ethical choices – whether to buy any imported, CO2-heavy ingredients, only free-range animals, organic produce, sustainable fish varieties, fair trade, shop in small shops, etc etc. "I have been pretty consistent over the years saying that reducing your animal protein intake is, in general, a good thing to do both for our world and for ourselves. I say this all the time and I have been acting on this by offering recipes that are heavy on vegetables, pulses and grains. Many people who bought my books and read my column tell me that these have made a radical change on their diet and that they now consume much less meat or fish. I believe that this is as valuable as any campaign. Otherwise, I prefer that the informed reader makes his or her own choice and decides which of many current and important causes to follow."
Well, Yotam, if you thought allowing people to make their own choices was a good thing, then guess again! It’s George’s way, or the highway!
All this is commendable. But it does not sit easily with promoting the consumption of rare animal species, and species whose extraction is ecologically devastating. Most of the time I'm proud to be associated with the Guardian and the Observer. But our participation in the destruction of the ecology of the seas makes me ashamed. To titillate the palates of prosperous people (those who can afford to buy monkfish, halibut or tiger prawns are likely to be prosperous), chefs writing for these papers are helping to power one of the fastest and most extensive degradations of the natural world in human history.
I buy monkfish, halibut and tiger prawns. Quite often. Am I ‘prosperous’? Gosh!
I'd like to suggest that the Guardian and Observer implement – as soon as possible – a policy of not specifying any fish which has an environmental damage rating higher than 2 on the Good Fish Guide. And that whenever a recipe for fish or other seafood is published, it should include a note urging people to buy only from a stock certified by the Marine Stewardship Council. If your fishmonger doesn't have certified stock, cook something else. Does that amount to "censorship"? Or is it just a sensible and minimal response to one of the most urgent threats to the natural world?
No, no. It sounds eminently sensible. You go right ahead. I'm sure we’ll manage to find Angela’s and Nigel’s recipes in other publications, on TV shows, on the Internet.

After all, the day I look to the ‘Guardian’ or ‘Observer’ for ethical advice on what to put in my mouth (or anything, really) is the day I probably stop eating forever…

Update: From Robert the Biker, a song for George:

*To the tune of 'When the boat comes in'*

Who shall have the fishy 
On the little dishy 
Not you says the Moonbat 
'Cos that fucker's rare

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

The Killer In My Dining Room...

I'm watching it.

It sits there, eyeing me.

Plotting my doom. It knows it just has to be patient.

It's....the sweater I'm drying on the radiator.

Wait. What?
A study carried out by the Mackintosh School of Architecture found that many homes had too much moisture indoors.
Up to a third of this moisture was attributed to drying laundry. The researchers have called on housebuilders to build dedicated drying areas into new housing to address the health concerns.
*boggle*
A study of 100 homes by the Mackintosh Environmental Architecture Research Unit in Glasgow found 87% dried their washing indoors in colder weather.
Ummm, well, yes. It's Glasgow. Not famed for it's sunny climate, is it? I doubt that figure drops much in summer!
A total of 75% of households, which were of mixed styles, had moisture levels which could lead to dust mite growth. There was also a strong association between drying laundry and mould spores.
'Could'. 'Association'. This is more pointless 'science', isn't it?
The researchers want to see dedicated drying areas incorporated into new housing.
Have they even seen any new build housing? There's barely room to fit humans in, never mind airing cupboards!

Leg-Iron's right - reality long outstripped satire!

H/T: Robert Hale via email

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Joseph Gillinder, New Man…

A family has called for the culling of foxes after one…
Killed their cat? Savaged their elderly grandmother? Stole their car?
… crept into their south London home and headed towards a baby’s bedroom.
Oh. Well. That was a bit of an anticlimax.
Mr Gillinder, 31, and his partner, Vix Henstock, 28, said that foxes circle their neighbourhood in Bromley at night and they feared that one could harm Violet.
‘Circle their neighbourhood at night’? Perhaps they need to build a boma…
Mr Gillinder said he backed a cull because of the growing numbers of the creatures prowling around his neighbourhood and fears over the safety of his family.
I'm sure the people of Churchill, Alaska and the Sunderbans region of Asia feel your pain, Mr Gillinder. As does Ben Douglas...
He added: “It is one thing to have the mangy horrible creatures waltzing around the neighbourhood but last week one actually came into my house whilst my back was turned for just a minute whilst putting out the bins.
“It was in the hall and I didn’t want to chase it into the house so I took a few steps back towards the door and it ran out.
"We have a very small baby in our house and that makes it not just a small problem but one of utmost concern and worry. I dread to think what one could do to a small baby.”
If the only thing in your life of ‘utmost concern and worry’ is whether a fox will run off with your baby, then I have to say, your life is pretty good in comparison to others…
The couple have written to Bromley council asking them to clamp down on rubbish left on the streets which attracts the animals.
Bromley Council is dumping rubbish on the streets..? Really?

Shouldn't you maybe be writing to your neighbours instead, Mr Gillard?
Councillor Tim Stevens, who is Bromley council’s representative for public safety, said: “Bromley council’s approach to foxes is to discourage an increase in their population without physically harming them.
“This is achieved by advising residents to stop doing things that might encourage foxes. These include removing attractions from the garden, sealing up holes and hiding places.”
Oh! I bet Mr Gillard never thought of that. Surely everything is the responsibility of the council?