Oh, This’ll Mean War!

Mothers with buggies and tourists with unwieldy suitcases are to be targeted in a new campaign to give wheelchair users priority on buses.

INCOMING!!!!

Just imagine the fury of the mums with their giant buggies? It’ll be awesome to behold as they are told they aren't a priority. The tourists will just shrug and say ‘Que?’…

Bus drivers will use their PA system to ask other passengers to move aside — and will not be allowed to drive off until they have done so.

The wording’s ambiguous – will not be able to drive off until the passengers have moved accordingly?

Or will not be able to drive off until they've ticked a box by asking, no matter what the response is..?

TfL officials said that the dedicated space, usually in the middle of the bus, was the only place where wheelchairs can travel safely.

They pointed out that on most buses there is room for both a wheelchair and suitcases or a single buggy in the reserved area. But where there was not, the buggy would have to be folded and suitcases moved to storage racks.

I can’t wait for this policy to provoke more BusRage amongst London’s vibrant population…

One Londoner said passengers made her feel uncomfortable when she used the allocated wheelchair space. Zara Todd, a youth worker from Merton, said: “People make you feel guilty for having to ask them to fold their buggies. Drivers find it awkward to ask them because of the fuss that it can cause.

“They think they are entitled to have the buggy unfolded. I understand that it can be time-consuming but I can’t fold my wheelchair. I have no choice.”

Good luck with expecting the unreasonable to suddenly become reasonable because there’s a poster up, love.

Ask Not What Your Government Can Do For ‘Your Community’….

…ask what ‘your community’ can do for yourselves…

In front of the burnt-out remains of a shop front on Tottenham High Road that was torched during last year's riots, the local authorities have put up signs listing all the ways they are trying to change the area.

The pledges are written inside a heart alongside the slogan "I love Tottenham" and include bringing in £4m for local jobs, more activities for the nearby youth centre and a dedicated team to "tackle grime".

And has that satisfied the residents?

For Jennifer Jane, out for a walk with her daughter, there is one thing she wants to see happen more than anything else in her neighbourhood.

"They have to get rid of the gangs," she says. "I moved here a year ago, just after the riots, and I don't feel safe. It's rough, especially in the evenings. You have loads of kids and young men and you have loads of cops. Every night it's the same."

Hmmm, you moved into an area known for gangs and rioting, and you’re not feeling very safe. What could cause that, I wonder?

… her neighbourhood is a crossroad for competing gangs who go by names such as Young Dem Africans, the Get Money Gang and NPK.

Lovely!

Despite a £10m fund, a number of charities that work in gang prevention said the problem had either stayed the same or worsened since the riots.

Well, there’s a surprise! If they say things have got better, they might only get offered £8m next year, after all…

Many felt gangs had in fact got more violent as "elders" with a stricter honour code were arrested and replaced with more unpredictable and anarchic "youngsters" who are keen to earn their stripes on the streets.

Hmmm, well, what’s the alternative? Leaving them in place, tolerating a certain level of gang activity? I can’t see how that’s much of an improvement.

For many Tottenham residents there is still a palpable feeling that the area has a long way to go before it can really say that it has turned a corner.

Niche Mufwankolo, landlord of the Pride of Tottenham pub, was on his way to the cash and carry yesterday to prepare for a party that night. His pub was trashed during the riots and it took months for Mr Mufwankolo to get back on his feet. His bar has a new paint job and looks vibrant.

But, he says, he's having doubts. "The politicians came here after the riots and said everything would change," he said. "But it hasn't. I've lived around here for 20 years and, you know what, I'm really thinking about selling up getting out."

And so, when all the decent people leave, the place will somehow get better? Can’t see it myself…

Well, Why Don’t You Buy It Then?

The Cross Keys in Chelsea, whose previous patrons include Agatha Christie, Dylan Thomas and Bob Marley, has been empty since it was closed by owner Andrew Bourne earlier this year.

Mr Bourne said the pub was not making a profit and wanted to turn it into a £10 million residence complete with basement swimming pool, but was turned down by planners.

But never fear, there’s always someone willing to take it off your hands! And I do mean ‘take’. As in ‘steal’…

He is now taking legal action to evict the 17 squatters, who moved in two weeks ago and have pledged to open to the community for events, an art gallery, community library and for Sunday lunches.

/facepalm

In a note attached to the outside of the building, which has been boarded up since the summer, the squatters wrote: “Hello neighbours, we are your friendly local squatters. “I can assure you that we are quiet and respectful and we would love to seamlessly become a part of your community. We are keeping your pub safe and tidy until it is going to be used again.”

You mean you’re stealing someone else’s property and expect to be treated like Robin Hood because you’re ‘giving back to the community’?

Does that mean it’s OK for me to burgle next door’s fridge as long as I use it to put on a street party? So nice to know…

The squatters, who are aged between 17 and 36 and moved from a previous squat in Holborn, are not subject to new laws criminalising squatting because they are in a commercial building.

That was a mistake, then, wasn’t it? Why was it drawn up that way? And just who are these cheeky little scamps?

Mariana Costa, 21, a Portuguese theatre student, said: “It is boarded up and empty so we can squat here. We have welcomed many members of the community in and everyone seems quite happy about us being here.”

Really? I’d rather you were back in Portugal.

Or do they deal with thieves less leniently over there? Is that why you’re here in the first place?

Mr Bourne, a property developer, said it was “outrageous” that the squatters could move into the pub, which opened in 1708. He has applied for an eviction order and will go before West London County Court on November 5.

He said: “The notice they have put on the door is rubbish and the police have been called out by neighbours some three times already. It has brought crime to the area.

“They are professional squatters who know exactly what they are doing. They will be gone in a week or so, I think they will probably walk out after November 5.”

I suspect he’s right. These people tend to know just how far they can push things.

The locals who agree to give interviews to the ‘Standard’, however, swear they have no problems with theft, as long as it isn't happening to them:

Residents in Lawrence Street said there had been little disturbance from the squatters at the Cross Keys. Matthew Millett, 30, a property consultant, said: “I would prefer it if they weren't there but they haven’t caused me any nuisance or made me feel unsafe.

“I haven’t seen them but I have seen people talking about them, people are looking a bit upset about it. They seemed to be in there quite quickly once the ruling went against Andrew Bourne.

“The pub is an institution, it is Chelsea’s oldest pub. Too many local pubs have shut, because of its location it is a much-loved pub.”

But clearly not loved enough, or it wouldn't have closed.

Ben Kerrigan, 24, a landscape gardener and electrician, said: “They are quite quiet, we don’t ever see anything of them. Most people in this area want the pub to stay, if it closes there is going to be more crime.”

Really? How come? Are you planning on going out mugging, Ben, now you can't have a pint in the Cross Keys instead?

In an email, the squatters told the Standard: “The people dearly miss having the Cross Keys as a community foundation and we know we can adequately maintain that base for the people.

“After so much effort trying to save this pub, it is our main concern to make this dream come true. The community would be helping us by allowing us to have the Cross Keys and we would help them.”

‘The community’ doesn't own the Cross Keys – Mr Bourne does.

They can’t give it to you. And he doesn't want to.

End of.