How Nice It Must Be To Take Pride In Your Work...

...just not, alas, if you are a professional signwriter. *sigh*

Physician, Take A Good Look At Yourself In A Mirror...

Over at CiF, another broadside against the awful terrible Tory (actually Labour!) policy that sees those in receipt of state benefits being asked to justify that they are applied correctly:

The assessors do not ask GPs like me to provide any medical information about patients to help them make their decisions, even though someone may have received incapacity benefits for many years.

The GP herself - who remains anonymous, of course - shows no insight as to why this might not be considered such a good idea.

And of course, the comments are filled with those supporting this idea, and hurling invective at ATOS. This one, in particular, sums up so many:

Ahhh, yes, the idea that the medical profession are modern saints, always thinking of the best interests of the patient, shunning the modern capitalistic drive to create easy 'get out of jail free' policies...

Meanwhile...

Who would have thought that the future of weight loss might lie in the hands of the inventor of the Segway? Dean Kamen, creator of the two-wheeled wonder, along with a team from Aspire Bariatrics, of Philadelphia, has applied for a patent for a pump that can suck food and drink straight out of the stomach.

Say what?!

Users are able to stuff their face before draining their stomach by connecting the pump to a valve surgically installed in their abdominal wall. The makers hope to use it to treat the morbidly obese, and to provide an alternative to a gastric bypass.

Oh, good grief! Well, surely no doctor would countenance this?

Initial setbacks – and here's the really yucky part – have occurred because the pump struggles to break up large foods. One patient reported "clogging" and had to avoid eating cauliflower, broccoli, Chinese food, stir fry, snow peas, pretzels, chips and steak. No chips? It will never catch on.

Don't worry. I'm sure it's just a minor setback. And I'm sure no-one from the 'do no harm!' medical profession will prescribe it.

Right..?

Everyone's Working With Everyone Else...

...but no-one's actually doing anything...

Frail and elderly residents of sheltered housing in north Hull say their lives are being made a misery by a gang of yobs who have torched a car and pelted windows with eggs.

Time for the forces of law and order to swing into action? Or will they wait until one of their own is affected?

A spokesman for Sanctuary Housing, a national housing association, said: "We are aware of problems to do with antisocial behaviour in the area and we are working closely with Hull Citysafe to address the concerns of tenants."

The spokesman said the tenants' quality of life is important and its staff are working closely with Humberside Police, Hull City Council and other agencies to tackle antisocial behaviour. He said: "We are taking this very seriously."

Justine Mortimer, Hull City Council's neighbourhood nuisance manager, said: "The neighbourhood nuisance team is working with Humberside Police, Sanctuary Housing, Mr Chapman and other residents in the area to address reports of antisocial behaviour."

Ah. Well, I'm sure the tea and biscuits at the various meeting and briefings are of the highest quality...

You Might Be Putting Your Faith In The Wrong People...

Mr Miller wants people to report any unsavoury activity to the trust so he can build up a database of incidents and pass the information to the police.

"We may find it happens at certain times of the day," he said. "I'm hearing all these things anecdotally as I'm working but the police can't do much about it unless they catch someone in the act."

Why expect them to do anything at all? They don't seem to see it as part of their job...

What they do see as part of their job is something the public would never imagine:

At 10.30pm that night, while her boyfriend Ricky Strachan was still scouring the streets, two police officers knocked on the door.

Had they found the car? No, they had come to give her ‘words of advice’ about the way she was ‘handling things on Facebook’.

Lesley said: ‘They were all over my laptop taking screen grabs. The female officer wrote something in her notebook and made me sign it.

‘I asked them to clarify that I was still the victim here and not the criminal. She just said: “We’ve got to make sure we’ve got everything covered.”’

It's hard not to disagree that this is 'typical of the way in which the modern police ‘service’ find investigating exciting new ‘crimes’ much more to their taste than actually going out on the streets catching old- fashioned criminals', isn't it..?

I Suppose We Can't Cast Aspersions On Stacey Clarke's Taste In Men..?.

The court heard Miss Clarke, who was 26 weeks pregnant at the time, was at the house when an argument broke out with Mahmood.

Prosecutor Dale Sullivan said: "He was denying being the father of the soon-to-be-born child. A DNA test was discussed."

Following the argument Miss Clarke, 24, ordered a taxi to go home and Mahmood lashed out.

Mr Sullivan added: "She describes the defendant coming from behind her and he pulled a knife. He approached her telling her not to scream and stabbed her in the neck.

"Miss Clarke remembers bending over in an attempt to protect her baby when she was stabbed again near her shoulder and elbow.

"She wrapped herself in a curtain and made her escape."

I won't indulge my inner Mrs Merton by wondering what it was that first attracted Stacey to mentally-fragile Mahmood...

Mahmood was sectioned to a secure unit under the Mental Health Act.

Judge David Rennie added that Mahmood will only be released, if ever, after consideration by the Secretary of State.

I wonder if Stacey will be waiting..?

Loathe Him You May, But When Littlejohn's Right, He's Very, Very Right...

I'm not going to get into the ins and outs of the Op Yewtree investigation's veracity; Anna Racoon's excellent series has already done this (and check out today's post for a delightful summation in verse!).

But as Littlejohn points out, the behaviour of the police in all this should concern us all, shouldn't it?

The heavy-handed nature of some of the arrests is also troubling. Why was it necessary to nick Davidson as he arrived at Heathrow Airport, as if he was some kind of international terrorism suspect?

What was the urgency? And if there is an overwhelming case against him, why has he been released without charge until March?

Police also raided one of Davidson’s homes in Hampshire and emerged carrying boxes of ‘evidence’. Were they seriously expecting to find evidence of a 25-year-old sexual assault tucked away in a sock drawer?

This will, no doubt, bring statements such as 'Just doin' our job!' and 'We just gather evidence, it's up to the CPS!'. They should ring hollow.

Stuart Hall, who is 82, was arrested at his Cheshire home in a full-scale dawn raid. What were they expecting him to do — leg it over the back wall or try to blast his way out with a sawn-off, screaming: ‘You’ll never take me alive, copper!’

Just before Christmas, Greater Manchester Police smashed down the front door of Fred Talbot, former weatherman on This Morning with Richard and Judy, in connection with an allegation which dates back to the early Seventies. Talbot was on holiday in the Caribbean.

Given that the police wanted to question him over a complaint about something which is alleged to have taken place when he was working as a teacher 40-odd years ago, couldn’t they just have waited until he got back and invited him in for an interview?

Littlejohn wonders if this high-profile activity (cameras often invited) is related to the US 'perp-walk' procedure. Something you might expect those who claim to be above this all to decry?

Curiously, the scale and methods of these operations seem not to concern the usual Left-wing ‘human rights activists’ who are always ready to howl about police misconduct, abuse of civil liberties and the presumption of innocence.

Quite! Though the 'Guardian' did put up a 'sympathy for the Devil' piece just yesterday, it's unlikely to start to wake up and smell the coffee until a beloved Left-wing figure is arrested by our Theatrical Squad.

The police chiefs are always banging on about the need to have the police farce properly accredited - who knew they meant by RADA?

Seeing Out 2012 With A MONA Story?

A woman waiting at a bus stop in Streatham has died after being hit by a car involved in a collision in Norbury a few minutes earlier.

Unusually for this time of year, it doesn't seem to have been a drink-drive incident:

The first collision occurred at 5am between two cars in London Road at the junction with Ederline Avenue in Norbury.

Following the crash, involving an Audi and a Volkswagen, there was an altercation involving a number of men.

When plain clothes police officers, who had been on duty nearby, intervened, a number of men made off from the scene in the Audi.

Officers stayed with the injured driver of the Volkswagen and the man was taken to hospital where his condition is critical.

Police do not know at this time whether his injuries were sustained in the collision or the subsequent assault.

It tells you quite a bit about the assault that the injuries are indistinguishable from a car crash, eh?

It was then the bus stop incident occurred, killing a woman outright and severely injuring a man. Any description of the suspects beyond 'men', officers?

The occupants of the car left the scene before the police arrived.

Ah. Right. We'll all look out for 'occupants' then...

Update: Well, whaddaya know!? The 'Mail' has also dropped all reports of an 'altercation'. Curious.

Maybe It Does Come From Being 'A Professional Footballer'....

...and maybe it comes from something else:

"You have shown no remorse and you have not got the faintest idea what you put this woman through. You are only interested in what you want and think you deserve.

"Whether or not that comes from being a professional footballer, I don't know, but arrogance like that is simply not acceptable in this society."

Well, look at the circumstances:

The court heard how Ada met the woman at a club in London's West End in February this year. It was told that the pair exchanged phone numbers and arranged to meet up the following night at the woman's home.

The jury heard how Ada, now playing for Conference team Ebbsfleet United, suggested bringing a friend along but could not get hold of one. He arrived alone and he, the woman and her friend drank vodka.

But the court was told Ada's demeanour changed after a few hours and he demanded to be with the victim alone. He told her he had made "the effort and sacrifice" to come to her, before forcing himself on her and making her perform sex acts.

And just where was the woman's 'friend' at this point? Did she leave as demanded? Why?

After being told to leave, Ada sent a text saying: "I am sorry, I was drunk" and then, in a phone call to her friend, said: "I am sorry I forced her, but she had led me on," the jury heard.

Yes, yes. I know. But did she really expect him to think he'd been invited over to play 'Scrabble'?

Ada was arrested the next day at the Brewers' training ground. The court heard he initially denied that he had touched her.

However, he later told detectives he knew his victim's "type", as they wanted to grab hold of a footballer as it would give them a better and more glamorous life.

To most feminists, he might well be a lousy raping scumbag (but then, to a lot, all men are, regardless).

But...he's not entirely wrong, is he? And the role of the 'friend' in this whole affair is an odd one, I think you'll agree...

There Are 18 Words That Guarantee A Fun Read In A Local Paper...

And those are "Following the death, friends of Mr Williams took to social network site Facebook to pay tribute to him."

Let's hear it, then:

Gemma Squires wrote: "Can't believe your gone.. It doesn't seem real.. R.I.P BIG Cuz.. Gone but never guna b forgotten Love u Always xxxxxxxx."

Jayne 'ebinx' Davies said: "Not sure what to say, you were a big man with a huge heart. Had many laughs n lots of drunken silly times with you. kept expecting to see you out on Sat, it's still such a shock. Hope you're having a blast up there the boys R.I.P Ginge. Gone but never forgotten. xxx."

And the tragic occasion that cut down the life of this potential future brain surgeon?

The man killed in a Swansea Valley car crash was driving a stolen car, police have confirmed.

Andrew Williams, from Clase, died in the collision near Ystradgynlais just after 8am on Saturday.

The 29-year-old was the sole occupant of a silver Honda Civic which left the road and hit a tree near the All Black Arms.

My tiny violin is going to get no airing today...

Maybe It's Time It Cost The Police Money Instead..?

The incident ended shortly before midday when the pair gave themselves up.

However, by that point, it had cost businesses in the town thousands of pounds in lost trade.

Mr Scott said: “Grantham town centre had to be shut. A lot of businesses lost revenue.

Thirty businesses in total were closed, with a loss of sales of between £25,000 and £30,000.”

And why did it 'have to be shut'?

Well...

Mr Scott said “Hanes and Neve refused to come down. The stand-off between these two and the police lasted about six hours.

“The police were forced to close down the centre of Grantham because missiles were being thrown off the roof.

“Neve was almost entirely passive throughout the stand-off. He was not seen to throw anything.

“Hanes was argumentative and aggressive shouting threats to the police. At one point he threw coins at the police and he was also throwing roof tiles at parked cars.

“In some sort of defiant gesture he pulled a number of bank notes from his pocket and tossed them in the air.”

All because, when these 'sieges' develop, the police immediately go into 'hands off', containment mode and wait for the situation to play itself out without injury to the poor little criminal darlings.

And why not? They know they aren't liable for the losses, so why should they care?

But maybe if they were to be made accountable, these sieges would be resolved a lot quicker. And that, surely  is good for everybody?

So, She Has Some Standards then...

...I mean, letting her 14 year old daughter try for a baby with a 16 year old who has previous convictions for dishonesty, theft, handling stolen goods, non dwelling burglary and shop lifting, and who is 'not socially aware' and of 'extremely low intelligence' is one thing.

But when you find out he isn't 16 at all, well!

Kenneth Bell, prosecuting, said the girl was 14 and Rudge was 18 when they had a sexual relationship.

He said "In March Mr Rudge was introduced to "the girl's" mother as her boyfriend.

"He said he was 16 but the mother found out he was 18.

"She became concerned and informed Social Services.

"She tried to stop the relationship to no avail and the police became involved."

Mother of the year, I think you'll agree?

What A Great Idea!

Residents are demanding the council holds a public meeting to address antisocial behaviour stemming from a house occupied by teenagers.

Eh? How can such a thing exist?

Well, would you believe, on charity money?

Neighbours living near the property, in which charity CAYSH hosts a project to support homeless young people, claim they have been subjected to a reign of terror. And they have said it is due to a lack of supervision from the authorities.

And when I say 'charity money', no, they aren't going out rattling a tin!

But Alan Hiscutt, the council's head of commissioning for vulnerable adults and supported housing, said: "CAYSH has been recognised nationally as a good quality and innovative provider of services for homeless young people.

"The house is not unsupervised. CAYSH support workers visit regularly. Complaints about the behaviour of two of the residents were made in 2011. CAYSH took appropriate action to manage the situation, including by increasing visits to the property and working with the Council to evict them. The eviction took place in May 2012. "

 The neighbours aren't impressed:

The SCCA, however, has said the troubles are ongoing and enough is enough.

Mrs Davies said: "I am absolutely appalled at his complacent attitude about safety in my community and his complacent attitude to under-age homeless residents in this Borough, who are left for long periods unsupervised.

"This project has cost South Croydon Residents thousands of pounds – it is absolutely unacceptable. If it is such a great project let us move them to Mr Hiscutt's street."

An excellent suggestion! How about it, Mr Hiscutt? If it's such good quality and innovative service, how could you possibly object?

Comprehensive Education: A Failure

Fifteen schools in Nottingham are to provide their own training for new teachers...

These are primary schools. So it's in...what? Fingerpainting? How to sit on those teeny-tiny chairs?

...to help deal with the problem of disruptive pupils.

Good lord! Can't they cope with a few tantrums and a bit of boisterousness without resorting to training?

And teachers in Nottingham have welcomed the move, after facing growing problems in recent years. They say they have encountered:

Pupils jumping out of ground floor windows during lessons

Being threatened, sworn at and spat at

Having bags thrown at them.

One city teacher, who did not want to be named, said: "It's sad. In some classes there are three or four pupils trying to get on with their work and all around them there is mayhem, shouting and missiles being thrown."

Ah. I see. We're doomed, aren't we?

A Bit Short On Detail..?

A 24-year-old shop assistant attacked a customer who had come in to collect a carpet cleaner.

Blackburn magistrates heard the 73- year-old victim was on his way home from a hospital appointment because of a heart condition. And he was terrified he was going to suffer a heart attack after being struck with a clipboard and then knocked to the floor.

John Simon Lloyd, of Albert Street, Brierfield, pleaded guilty to assaulting Brian Whitham. He was made subject to community supervision for eight months and ordered to pay £100 compensation and £145 costs.

Nowhere in this report does it say why the shop assistant decided to brain a customer…

Oh, This’ll Mean War!

Mothers with buggies and tourists with unwieldy suitcases are to be targeted in a new campaign to give wheelchair users priority on buses.

INCOMING!!!!

Just imagine the fury of the mums with their giant buggies? It’ll be awesome to behold as they are told they aren't a priority. The tourists will just shrug and say ‘Que?’…

Bus drivers will use their PA system to ask other passengers to move aside — and will not be allowed to drive off until they have done so.

The wording’s ambiguous – will not be able to drive off until the passengers have moved accordingly?

Or will not be able to drive off until they've ticked a box by asking, no matter what the response is..?

TfL officials said that the dedicated space, usually in the middle of the bus, was the only place where wheelchairs can travel safely.

They pointed out that on most buses there is room for both a wheelchair and suitcases or a single buggy in the reserved area. But where there was not, the buggy would have to be folded and suitcases moved to storage racks.

I can’t wait for this policy to provoke more BusRage amongst London’s vibrant population…

One Londoner said passengers made her feel uncomfortable when she used the allocated wheelchair space. Zara Todd, a youth worker from Merton, said: “People make you feel guilty for having to ask them to fold their buggies. Drivers find it awkward to ask them because of the fuss that it can cause.

“They think they are entitled to have the buggy unfolded. I understand that it can be time-consuming but I can’t fold my wheelchair. I have no choice.”

Good luck with expecting the unreasonable to suddenly become reasonable because there’s a poster up, love.

Don't Let It 'Pain You', Coroner...

Picture the scene - a tragedy in King's Lynn:

More safety measures have been proposed at a Norfolk town's annual fair after a three-year-old boy was killed by a car.

Awful, terrible, more must be done!!

West Norfolk Council has backed proposals to increase the number of stewards and barriers at the event.

Plans would also see the fair, held in Tuesday Market Place, shortened from 14 days to nine.

Councillors recommended that the fair was moved from its traditional Valentine's Day opening to begin on the first weekend of February half-term in 2013.

No expense must be spared! Set up the JustGiving page to pay for a lavish funeral!

On Wednesday 15th February 2012 at 5:30pm a three year old boy called Rio Bell, had his life so tragically cut short by a driver, as the Kind’s Lynn Mart in Norfolk.

But look at how forgiving the parents are to the evil motorist:

More than 150 people attended Rio’s funeral service which was held by the rector of Kirkley the Rev Andrew White and saw his white coffin enter to the R Kelly song If I Could Turn Back The Hands Of time.

In a moving eulogy he said: “In the time I have spent with members of the family over the last few days, I have been struck by the total absence of anger and bitterness or any need for revenge.”

Oh, saints they are, surely?

Cometh the inquest, and - although I'd forgotten the case - I found I was following a reporter covering it for 'Look East' on Twitter:

Hmmmm....

O...kay....

'Independent'? He was three! Not of an age where you are expected to be traffic-smart, which it why it's the job of the parents to do it!

The press couldn't not report it, could they?

“I don’t wish to add to the distress and anguish of Rio’s family, but the primary responsibility for young children must rest with those having care of them,” he said.

“At the time of this tragedy, Rio was not under suitable control or supervision. He should have been under very close and direct control.

“Under the circumstances, he should have had reigns (sic), been in a buggy or had his hand held.

“It pains me to say that.”

It shouldn't.

Perhaps someone would like to set up a JustGiving page for the poor bloody driver?

What Future..?

Mark died just seven days after the birth of his daughter Mychalina on July 11…

Oooh, the name kind of gives the game away, doesn’t it?

… and had been on a night out with Frayne before they went back to a flat in Goole to take heroin.

It proved to be a fatal mistake. And not – for once – due to contamination with anthrax.

Mark's fiancée Stephanie, a student child psychologist, was due to marry him at Christmas.

She claims to have been unaware of his drug use. Which is, well, possible, I suppose.

She said: "We had been together for two years. He had never done drugs, this was all a total shock to me.

"When they told me he had died, I felt like I had been ripped apart. I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with him and now Jake's actions have stolen my future and my daughter will never know her dad."

Ummm, hang on. ‘Jake’s actions’..? No. Not just his…

It does take two to tango, doesn't it? Mark was a willing participant in a risky activity.

Stephanie said their daughter still won't be old enough for her to explain what happened to her father by the time Frayne is released from prison.

"I just want to protect her but I cannot save her from the day I have to sit down and tell her what Jake did," she said.

"I will have to say to my daughter, 'That man killed your dad'."

Don’t forget to add ‘because your dad was too stupid not to see the potential risks and so agreed to take illegal drugs’. I mean, surely a future child psychologist doesn't think hiding the truth is a good thing?

I'm not convinced this poor kid’s future isn't already sealed.

Oh, Really? Crime Doesn’t Pay?

Are you sure?

A carer who stole the life savings of a 100-year-old woman will not have to pay the money back.

No, not some fit of sympathy from a do-gooding judge. Not this time.

Under the Proceeds of Crime Act, the Crown Prosecution Service tried to recoup the money from Isaacs by forcing her to sell her house.

However, due to the recession, she no longer has any equity in her home and the CPS has withdrawn the proceedings.

Ah. Great.

Prosecutor Richard Thompson said: "Isaacs served a statement indicating her home was worth about £110,000 with a mortgage of £90,000. We sought a confiscation hearing in these circumstances.

"She was awaiting a further valuation of her property from estate agents and they valued it at £65,000. "The result is that any confiscation hearings are pointless."

Well, no. Not really pointless, as there’s always the punitive aspect of making the thief homeless.

Isaacs will not have to repay any of the stolen money now unless her financial circumstances change and the proceedings could be restarted against her.

One (for the CPS) to watch…

If It’s ‘For The Chiiiiillldreeeen!’ How Can You Say It’s Gone Wrong?

Suzanne Moore weighs in on the Savile scandal.

And she finds the concentration on the ‘celebrity’ aspect of it all very unhelpful to her agenda:

The recognition of abuse has been seen as a leftie/liberal delusion. Safeguarding and CRB checks have indeed been cack-handed and intrusive but it is important to remember they were born from a wish to protect children.

So…if they sprang from righteous intentions, we can’t criticise how they were used? Really?

The focus on Savile has triggered many to now tell their truths and, if we can bear to listen, it is heartwrenchingly apparent that, unlike Savile, many of these men who abused children are the most ordinary of monsters.

We don't need an inquiry to tell us this, or that "care" is often not care at all. We need, instead, the political will to provide the resources to look after our most vulnerable children properly and to prosecute those who rape them. Only then will we have "moved on" from where were 20 years ago.

So you see, it’s simple.

All we have to do is simply accept what these ‘victims’ are telling us, without question, avoiding all doubt over discrepancies in their stories, and all will be well.

C’mon, who doesn't think that’ll make things so much better for the future?

Tough On Crime, Tough On The Causes Of Crime…

…especially if those causes are morris dancers. Yes. Really.

Wild Hunt Bedlam Morris, based in West Croydon, were only six dances into their show at The White Lion, in Warlingham, when officers gate-crashed and halted the display, following a complaint.

Yes. One complaint. One.

After pleading with the officers to be allowed to continue, the 15 dancers were told to stop their Tuesday night show, in the interest of "community relations".

Hmmm, I wonder what my chances would be of getting some boisterous Diwali dancers or Eid celebrants silenced for the sake of ‘community relations’? Probably slim.

And unlike DumbJon, I fear any new recruit challenged as to exactly what's so 'offensive' about morris dancing could reel off a whole spiel of guff drummed into him at Hendon.

The dancers are baffled and angry:

"It's the first time we've encountered anything like it.

"We felt treated like yobs. But we've got ex-oil executives, business owners and a school secretary in our group.

"We just feel aggrieved that something that has such a long history in the country, at a time when it is hard to keep the old traditions alive, should not be allowed.

"We do it for the love of it. It wasn't as if it was ad hoc, but we obviously offended someone."

And in modern Britain, that’s all it takes, it seems. Despite the fact that morris dancing holds a particular position with relation to the bylaws:

So sacrosanct is Morris dancing, it was exempt as a form of entertainment under the Licensing Act 2003, so that pubs could continue the tradition at no cost.

I wonder if the police were unaware of the rich tradition of morris dancing? Probably not. Not in Croydon. I bet you they could give you chapter and verse about Black History Month and the Gypsy & Traveller traditions, though! It’s bound to be covered in their diversity courses…

A White Lion worker, who did not want to be named, said: "The police came because they got a complaint from a neighbour.

"I think everyone was a bit surprised really. Morris dancers have been dancing around in the area for years, so I really don't understand it."

Me neither.

A Surrey Police spokesman said: "We received a report from a member of the public about noisy revellers outside the White Lion pub in Farleigh Road, Warlingham.

"A neighbourhood police officer attended and spoke to a group who matched the description given.

"The noise had already stopped and no formal allegations were made and the group left the area without incident."

Translation: “*shrug* Yeah? So? Storm in a teacup, innit? 'ere, sign my petition about that Winsor geezer, eh?”