So, I Guess They Will Just Be Left With 'Harsh Language'?

Or with this:

Or this:

Or I guess about 10 of these (with body armour) could flatten the 'child':

I'm sure none of those methods are likely to cause 'potentially fatal health problems'...

...yesterday a campaigner condemned the use of Tasers on children, and called for an outright ban on firing the devices at under-18s.

And how are they supposed to tell if they are under 18..? Who could possibly come up with something so stu...

Oh. Of course.

Sophie Khan from McMillan Williams Solicitors...

No-one anyone needs to pay the slightest bit of attention to then.

Firemen Aren't Social Workers, And Cops Aren't Mindreaders...

In March, Humberside Fire and Rescue Service was called to Jess's house when she set her bedroom alight. Realising something was wrong, the attending crew manager filed a PN1 form, an internal document used when officers come into contact with a child they believe might be vulnerable. However, his concerns were not shared with health professionals or social services.

The paperwork was lost in the system. Would it have made a difference? Doubtful, as she was already well known to the appropriate authorities:

Jess first came to the attention of social workers in October last year after she accused her dad of hitting her. An investigation showed her claims were completely untrue.

Soon afterwards Jess began to self-harm and, on November 23 last year, she was referred to the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services. Meetings continued until February 29, when Jess and her mum both felt things had improved and she was discharged.

She then set the fire. Did her parents take any action, or did they think 'Oh, well, the fire service'll do it'?

The officer argued any changes to a firefighter's role, such as expecting them to identify children at risk, must be properly thought out.

He said: "The fire service has to evolve and nobody's got any problem with that. We're all happy to evolve if the training is given properly.

"If we're going to take these things on, we need the correct training, not half an hour on a wet afternoon."

Maybe the best thing to do is...not take them on? Stick to the job you are paid and trained for?

Meanwhile...

It's two years since their daughter was murdered, but for the first time Joanna Yeates' parents have criticised the police investigation that eventually caught her killer.

*sigh*

The body of the 25-year-old landscape architect was found by dog walkers in Failand on Christmas Day 2010 after she had been missing for eight days.

Her parents said they now think police were not aware that their daughter's killer, neighbour Vincent Tabak, had been alone in his flat on the night she vanished.

They began treating him as a suspect only after a phone call to detectives from his girlfriend Tanja when the pair were away on holiday in Holland for new year.

Yes, that's right. They started treating him as a suspect when evidence emerged of his involvement.

Before that, how could they possibly do anything? I'm as fond of armchair quarterbacking as the next blogger, but let's be realistic here!

“We just can't get our heads round what happened.”

The family of a teenager who died in a road accident while his moped was being followed by police have called for a fresh investigation. Relatives of Kyle Bartlett have asked the Independent Police Complaints Commission (IPCC) to release statements taken from the police after the fatal collision.

The calls come as the family still believe that the police were to blame for the accident, which saw Kyle and his 15-year-old friend come off the bike while being followed by a police car.

They are in a minority, though. Everyone else can see the writing on the wall.

An IPCC investigation has already concluded there is no evidence to support the accusation. And a jury sitting at a two-day inquest returned a verdict of accidental death earlier this week.

So, what’s the issue?

Kyle's auntie Shelley Crisp, from Meir, said: "Although we accept the verdict we are not happy with the outcome because we feel there are still a lot of inconsistencies. We feel there are still a lot of things that don't add up in the police statements."

Such as?

The deputy coroner ruled that Kyle could have stopped if he had wanted to. But Mrs Crisp, aged 37, said: "As soon as we came out of court I was on the phone to the IPCC asking if we can have access to the police statements.

"We don't feel that we have had justice for Kyle because it is still unclear what happened. "We can't get closure until we have seen the witness statements for ourselves."

It’s not ‘closure’ (Ugh! How I loathe that particular Americanism..) you really want, is it?

Kyle, a former pupil of Blythe Bridge and Endon High school, had intended to join the Army. Shelley, a telesales supervisor, said: "He was just your typical 16-year-old lad who loved life. Everybody who knew him loved him for his massive smile."

Yes, yes. They always are, aren’t they?

Shelley said: "It has been devastating because he had his whole life ahead of him. Instead, he suffered for his own stupidity. We had to bury him on his 17th birthday."

Make up your mind, Shelley! Wasn’t it ‘the fault of the police’ a scant two paragraphs ago?

His aunt added: "We are going to keep fighting for this and I hope the IPCC will agree to our request. We just can't get our heads round what happened."

Oh, I think you can, if you try.

Ingratitude…

The family of a missing woman have hit out at police…

For not bothering to find her? Well, no. Not exactly.

For bothering.

… after they were door-knocked as part of the inquiry.

I…

I just…

*speechless*

Police have been carrying out inquiries in Sneinton and have put up posters – but Leanne feels let down after a police community support officer (PCSO) knocked on her door to ask if she had heard anything about the missing woman.

"I was disgusted – they should have known this is her address," she said. "If you can't trust the police who can you trust?"

Oh, get over yourselves!

It was an error – the PCSO is actually doing the job they are paid for, for once, rather than standing guard over a plastic egg in some school playground!

That they knocked on your door too just means – as usually happens – a bit of poor communication. It’s not a ghastly plot to rub your noses in it.

Inspector Mark Stanley said: "The inquiry was made in good faith and the PCSOs were unaware that the property was linked to Sandra.

"This does not detract from the upset it has caused her daughter and I have personally apologised to her."

I've no doubt he felt he had to say something, but really…

Sandra's mum Kathleen, Gollin, 86, said: "We just want to see something being done to find Sandra and bring her home."

You just have seen something being done – so stop whinging about it to the local newspaper!