Is This Part Of Your Duty As ICT Teacher, Matthew?

Ratton School pupils are making a stand against tax avoidance by not using Google’s search engine for a week.

The plan was masterminded by Matthew Bristow, assistant headteacher for strategic ICT, because he felt a political protest against tax avoidance schemes was needed.

Strange contract you seem to have at that school. Perhaps someone in Gove's office should look it over....

Mr Bristow is encouraging all 1,200 children at the school not to use Google for searches in their ITC lessons or at home.

Because, of course, you've explained all the issues, right?

Vikash Thulasitharan, a 16-year-old Year 11 student, said, “As soon as I heard about it, I thought it was really unfair that they were not paying their taxes when others were.”

Ah. Clearly not.

Baccalaureate Blues (For Some)...

The proposed English Baccalaureate. Will it be a winner?

Well, it's annoying the right sort of people:

...critics including Dr Vardy fear the move will result in arts subjects being sidelined as schools and students increasingly focus on the EBacc.

"Well-placed people I have spoken to say Michael Gove is adamant that this is the way things should be going and will push it through," Dr Vardy explained, adding: "I fear that it is because he wants to create economically effective units who will encourage growth, but that is short-sighted.

"Look at the financial crisis. We need young people with a broad range of skills and understanding, not a narrowing of education."

Yes! Who wants the next generation to learn how to be 'economically effective' when they could study so much more progressive and rewarding things instead?

This Is Utterly Outrageous!!!

Pupils could lose their place at a London high school if they talk (sic) their native language to staff.

Winston Churchill High School in Bethnal Green says if youngsters speak their native language twice they will be sent to deputy headteachers John Doe or Jane Doe.

If they don’t start using English, their parents will be called in to meet head Enoch Powell to “discuss their child’s future in an English school.” 

I…what?!? But….diversity! Multiculturalism!

And if they speak their native language three times in lessons, the youngsters lose their free time – and will be handed a language card to monitor their future use of English.

The school’s 800 pupils are also being told not to speak their native language in corridors between lessons, and during play-times.

OMG! How do these people justify themselves?

Deputy head Mr Doe, who is also a former pupil, said: “This isn’t anything new. We’ve always done this, it’s just making it formal. Winston Churchill High School is an English-speaking school. That is what it stands for. ... If the parents feel they don’t want to send their children here, they have a choice. Of course, we want them all to stay at our school.

“Parents make a choice to send their children to Winston Churchill High School. It’s nothing more, nothing less.”

That’s astonishing! This blatant disregard for our modern, vibrant, multicultural society is breathtaking!

Headteacher Enoch Powell insisted the system had the support of pupils. He added: “Fluency in English is an absolute requirement to enable our students to attain their full potential. In our efforts to increase the use of English in lessons and socially around the school, a system which monitors, congratulates and disciplines pupils is being implemented.

“The new system has been brought into place to ensure consistency throughout the school and to make parents aware of the steps the school will be taking.”

Surely the local councillors are up in arms about this?

School governor and London councillor Arthur Dent said: “It’s an English school so there is an expectation to speak to each other in English at all times.

"The whole ethos of the school is one of encouragement. They are doing this in a friendly way, not in a threatening way."

Oh. Well, maybe the unions..?

An UCAC teaching union spokeswoman said: “Winston Churchill High School is taking its duties to create well-educated English-speaking individuals seriously, and most parents will appreciate that.

“Presumably, one of the most important reasons in parents’ minds when choosing to send their children to the school is that the children will become fully English-speaking.”

Amazing. There’s hope for our country yet, is there?

Note: I might have made some minor amendments to the names and details in this report…

And Sometimes A Cigar Is Just A Cigar...

Too many London children are narrowing their horizons by sticking to their own postcodes and failing to explore the city, the Mayor’s education adviser warns.

Oh, good grief, perhaps you should put ‘The Knowledge’ on every school curriculum?

Teenagers are missing out on the rich culture of London and their ignorance of the capital is preventing them from “reaching for the stars” according to Dr Tony Sewell.

Maybe they aren't quite so keen on that ‘rich culture of London’ as you are?

Or maybe they need to worry more about the postcode gangs than you ever will?

Or maybe they've been raised by parents terrified into immobility by media scare stories and so have been brought up with a fear of the unknown akin to battery hens?

Dr Sewell, who runs the Generating Genius charity that prepares underprivileged children for university, was behind the idea of a “London curriculum” for schools in the capital, which Boris Johnson backs.

He said real and perceived barriers such as cost, transport and health and safety are stopping teachers from taking children out of the classroom. He warned that the “London isn't for me” mentality meant youngsters missed “the endlessly enriching and stimulating array of activities that London has to offer; it’s also symptomatic of a narrowness of outlook and ambition that prevents so many young people from disadvantaged backgrounds reaching for the stars”.

Gosh, it’s amazing what you can read into one incident, isn't it? We’ll get to just what that incident was in a minute.

And when they applied for university they chose a local college “rather than aim for one of the elite institutions that lie further afield, outside their comfort zone in Dagenham, Brent or Beckenham.”

Perhaps because that’s also cheaper for them? Did that ever cross your mind?

Oh, right. That ‘one incident’. Well, here it is:

Dr Sewell said one youngster going to a course in Trafalgar Square phoned to ask what bus he needed.

I…

Wait. That’s it?

He added: “So why doesn't this ambitious, motivated straight-As sixth-form student from one of London’s inner suburbs know how to get into town, a distance of around five miles?

Perhaps they’re taking their lead from Jessie J who confessed she can’t locate London on a map, despite being born in Redbridge and educated in Croydon”.

Or perhaps because they think that that’s the sort of detail that the university should know offhand?

I mean, if I ring for travel details to an unfamiliar place, it’s something I’ll often ask. It doesn't mean I don’t know how to use GoogleMaps!

Oh, Here We Go Again…

Youngsters at a Welling primary school were shocked to find a giant egg in their playground yesterday.

Yes, it’s the old ‘creative writing’ event again. We've been here before. Many times. Oh, so many times....

Children had many questions about the egg wondering how it got there, where it came from and what might be inside it. They put their writing skills to the test by creating reports for museums and making posters as well as interviewing eye witnesses.

It all sounds jolly wonderful, doesn't it?

Headteacher Miranda Hornett said: "The egg appeared in our school grounds and has got everyone talking.

"It’s wonderful to see the children so inspired and determined to solve the mystery."

Why, yes. I mean, it might have been daft, but it's clearly not a total waste of teachers' time.

Other people's time, however...

The area around the egg at Eastcote Primary School, in Eastcote Road, was taped off by a PCSO, who then stood guard for the rest of the day.

*sighs*