If It's Not Your Job, Whose Is It?

Croydon Council chief executive Jon Rouse has come under fire for suggesting it was not his job to be scrutinised by the press as he asked for journalists to leave a community meeting.

Journalists were last night told to leave the meeting in West Croydon after Mr Rouse, said he felt "uncomfortable" with their presence.

I guess nearly £250k a year doesn't buy much these days:

Mr Rouse, whose renumeration to run the council last year was £248,362 including pension contributions, told the meeting after his arrival: "I just feel uncomfortable about this situation. It's not appropriate for an officer to be placed in this position. It is going to be a very different meeting if the press are here.

"It is not my job to place myself in a position in which I have to defend council policy and have my words scrutinised and reported on by the press. That is the place of our democratically elected politicians."

Hey, nothing to hide, nothing to fear, eh Mr Rouse?

Nice Try, But Consumption’s Not Obligatory…

A Swansea solicitor has hit out at "ridiculous" nightclub drink promotions after three men "miraculously" escaped serious injury after a road smash.

Mark Davies was representing Rhys Beck, a 20-year-old who admitted crashing his car after drink-driving.

And what sort of promotion was this? Do they hold you down and force alcohol down your throat?

Mr Davies said his client, of Glanmor Terrace, Penclawdd, had been out with friends at the Oceana nightclub and when he ordered one pint of beer, he was told he would receive two extra pints for free, as part of a promotion the club were running.

Mr Davies accepted his client had willingly drunk the alcohol before deciding to drive his Renault Clio, but said the promotion was "quite frankly asking for trouble".

Umm, why? If I get offered two free tins of beans when I buy one at a checkout, I don’t feel obliged to cram them all down my throat. I might give them away to someone else. I don’t even feel obliged to take them in the first place!

Why didn't he simply refuse them, or offer them to his friends?

"His intention wasn't to consume a large quantity of alcohol but he wanted one drink. When confronted with two more for free, it's often that people will consume the other two. He didn't believe he was over the limit," added Mr Davies.

So….he was only going to have one because he was driving (which is sensible, and responsible), and he knew that more than that would put him over the limit. But, when faced with free beer, he suddenly thought these two pints somehow wouldn't count?

He’s not too bright, is he?

Mr Davies said: "It's a shame this young man comes before the court as he's of clean character, he's educated and is waiting to go to university."

Ah. Well, why should lack of intelligence stop anyone from going to university these days?

Meanwhile, police in Swansea have said they are concerned about cut-price drinks promotions in the city, and are working with the council and bars, pubs and clubs to try to ensure "safe and sensible" drinking.

Superintendent Phil Davies said: "Drinks promotions are a concern for the police. "While we have got no legislative power to stop them, we are working closely with the local authority and licensed premises to encourage safe and sensible drinking."

Well, perhaps you could start by pointing out what utter rubbish is being spouted here by Mr Beck’s mouthpiece?

Well, If It’s Good Enough For The Potato Farmers…

A few chickens clucking in the back garden provide fresh eggs every morning, more money in your pocket and a little taste of the Good Life. But the 500,000 households across Britain now keeping their own flocks could also pose a major health threat to the poultry industry. Veterinary experts say many of us keeping chickens at home have little understanding of how to control disease in the birds, along with insufficient knowledge of health regulations. They warn this could hasten the spread of disease from backyard flocks to commercial poultry farms.

Gosh! Sound familiar..?

It ought to! It’s the exact same tactic tried recently by the potato farmers!

A survey by the Royal Veterinary College found most back garden flock owners provided their birds with good living conditions. But 75 per cent did not comply with Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs regulations which outlaw birds being fed on kitchen waste. Farmers have been banned from feeding such waste to chickens since 2001, because some agents of disease can survive in household food products.

Yes, they have.

But there’s nothing to stop the homeowner feeding chickens whatever he wants, since the regulations referred to only apply if you are selling the eggs in bulk. Most families keeping chickens are doing so for their own consumption, or that of their friends and relatives.

The survey, published this month in the journal of British Poultry Science, also found lapses in biosecurity, with very few owners keeping human visitors, wild birds and rodents away from their flocks. Few properly vaccinated their birds.

Sensing, perhaps, that this isn’t going to be enough to strike the right level of fear and therefore compliance, they try the ‘Think of the chiiiillldreeen!’ tactic:

Keeping chickens is also a major risk factor for diarrhoea in children since the birds’ droppings can contain the disease agent campylobacter jejuni. More than a third of the chicken keepers surveyed had children, which highlights the risk posed to families.

YOU’RE KILLING YOUR KIDS!!!!!

So, what’s the answer to this grave crisis about to strike the nation? Well, would you believe, making Mr & Mrs Smith compliant with the same regulations as Farmer Giles?

Study co-author Iveta Karabozhilova called for greater regulation of back garden chickens and more communication between householders and health officials.

Yeah, I'll just bet. You can take the sex and travel option, love.

Gosh, I Wonder Why She Didn’t Turn Up To Fight Her Corner?

A hairdresser has failed in a bid to force her former employers to pay her wages – while she was in jail.

Ummmm….

Miss Atkins' claims of constructive dismissal were thrown out by chairman Victoria Wallace on Tuesday at Ashford Employment Tribunal after she failed to turn up for the hearing, despite staff trying to contact her.

Ah. Not because they were patently absurd, then? Oh, well…

In written statements made to the tribunal, both Miss Atkins and her-ex boss said she took annual leave to attend her trial in December last year.

When she was found guilty at Canterbury Crown Court, Judge Adele Williams said Atkins had perpetrated a "dreadful crime".

But documents submitted to the tribunal show that Miss Atkins claimed her employer made assurances her job was safe before she was convicted.

Why would an employer say such a thing?

"I came home on June 27, 2012, and rang Mrs McDonald to ask if I could come back to work and the reply to that was 'no'."

Miss Atkins claimed in her statement she was thus owed backdated salary for the days missed while she was in jail.

She said: "I would like nine months' worth of wages, which is how long I was in prison for – as I thought I still had a job – which comes to £7,000."

Yes, I'm sure you would. I’d like a pony.

But Mrs McDonald said there was no agreement to keep a job open and that her business was stigmatised by her worker's conviction.

And, since ‘This Is Kent’ hasn't seen fit to mention what it was she was convicted of, we have to turn to Google (and thereafter ‘The Mirror’) for the details:

“My heart was pounding,” says Wayne.

“I was thinking maybe I was to be kept in custody until my trial. I asked the ¬policeman guarding me, he said he didn't know.

“Half an hour went by. Then another officer came down. He told me I was being released without charge because new evidence had come to light. As it sank in the relief swept over me.

“I went home to hugs from my ¬family. That evening an officer called me to explain what had happened.

"Police had learned that the night before Kelly had left her handbag in a pub and it had been handed in to a member of staff. It was the bag she said I’d stolen.

“Apparently, she’d reported being mugged for her handbag before she’d added that she’d also been raped.

"That was why the police were fairly sure she was lying. Days later I was told she’d been charged with perverting the course of justice, which she denied.”

Yup, she’s a false rape claimant. And false mugging claimant into the bargain. Failing at both  luckily enough  No real surprise she didn't try to shoot for ‘best of three’ then….

And I wonder who encouraged her claim to the Employment Tribunal?

Travellers To Be Called….What?

Travellers have urged Croydon Council to find them a permanent site because they want to settle down.

Ummmm. Yeah. Me too.

*scratches head*

Last week it was revealed the authority had dealt with 83 illegal encampments this year, and that it had cost taxpayers more than £3,000 a week to clean up after travellers.

But Michael Connors, one of the caravan-dwellers near Croydon's Ikea this week, has hit back at the criticism.

Oh, well, there’s always one.

The 30-year-old dad-of-four said he was fed-up travelling around and wanted to receive some long-term help.

But they don’t want to be called ‘beggars’, remember?

Mr Connors said: "If we get a site we'd pay gas and electricity and rates, we don't want it for free. "Croydon is a very big area and Croydon has got lots of wasteland. I need somewhere permanent to get my children permanent education.

"They (Croydon Council) are supposed to have so many sites – we would like to be off the road.

"There's a lot of travellers who have gone off the roads and into houses."

Want, want want.

Council leader Mike Fisher tore into a group of travellers last month and slammed the rubbish and human excrement being left behind as "a risk to human health".

But Mr Connor says it is important not to class all travellers as "bad'uns".

And yet, that’s all we ever seem to hear. When do we ever see a story of travellers giving back to the community? Sorting out the mess they cause?

Never. That’s when.

He explained: "If there's any crime in the area then people think we've done it. "Once we move off the site the fly-tippers come along. We actually get the blame for it.

"To be honest it makes us feel tormented."

Awwwww! Fetch the Tiny Violin!

Open Mouth, Insert Foot

A Southampton peer has sparked anger by suggesting retired people do community work in return for their pensions.

I think you've got that the wrong way wrong, chum. The pensions are a 'reward' for their work. Just like your stonking great civil service pension is a 'reward' for your w...

Oh. I  see.

Lord Bichard, who was educated at King Edward VI Grammar School in Southampton, said "imaginative" ideas were needed to avoid older people becoming "a burden on the state".

It takes some imagination to grasp quite how Bichard himself isn't a burden on the state. I don't think I've quite managed it yet...

During a meeting of a committee investigating the impact of the ageing society, he said: "Are there ways in which we could use incentives to encourage older people, if not to be in full time work, to be making a contribution?

"It is quite possible, for example, to envisage a world where civil society is making a greater contribution to the care of the very old, and older people who are not very old could be making a useful contribution to civil society in that respect, if they were given some incentive or some recognition for doing so."

We could make them peers of the realm, I suppose?

He added: "Are we using all of the incentives at our disposal to encourage older people not just to be a negative burden on the state but actually be a positive part of society?"

Soylent Green, anyone..?

An End To Compo Culture At Last?

Mrs Fari said she was due £740,000 for an injury so severe she needed on-going care. The judge said the figure was nearer £1,500 for a minor injury that would cause her three months’ discomfort.

Ouch! It gets worse…

Undercover surveillance was carried out and it was discovered that Ms Fari had a pre-existing deformity in her knee. The judge was so angry she now faces the prospect of prosecution for contempt of court and a prison sentence.

This is because of a recent landmark case, which – hopefully – could well spell the end to the notorious compo culture:

Judge Christopher Mitchell struck out her entire claim for damages at Central London county court so she will not get a penny. He said she had attempted to deceive his court by wildly overstating the suffering caused and that the scale of exaggeration involved in her claim amounted to an abuse of process.

He has referred the case to the High Court which may allow contempt of court proceedings to be brought against Ms Fari.

And, if the defendant’s lawyers have anything to say about it, that’s just the start:

Jennifer Harris, a solicitor at Plexus Law who represented Homes for Haringey, said the judge’s verdict should be a warning to other potential fraudsters seeking to make exaggerated compensation claims.

She said: “This is a significant success in the fight against fraudulent and exaggerated claims and sends a strong message that genuinely injured claimants and their representatives should not attempt to exaggerate the extent of injuries.

“This is one of the first cases to follow the principles established in Summers v Fairclough Homes and confirms that a grossly exaggerated claim can amount to an abuse of process significant enough to warrant striking out in its entirety a claimant’s case.”

Of course, there’s outrage on the part of the claimant, strangely only articulated by her mother. Perhaps she herself is a bit too busy with her huge brood to comment...

Ms Fari’s mother defended her daughter, telling the Standard she had told the truth about the extent of her injuries.

Speaking at the family home in Haringey she said: “My daughter told the truth in court and was made to look a liar. It is disgusting, there has been no justice, she does not deserve this.”

If not her, who?

Ms Fari has 21 days to appeal against the judge’s decision. If she fails to do so, or if her appeal fails, the Attorney General can opt to prosecute her for contempt of court.

If he decides not to, lawyers for Homes for Haringey are expected to bring their own High Court action.

*orders popcorn*

Look, You Amateurs, Just Leave It To Us Professionals, M’Kay?

The Potato Council said the fungal disease, that manifests itself as a mould on the leaf and roots, has hit the potato crop badly this year due to the wet weather.

And if it wasn't wet weather, it’d be dry weather. Or hot weather. Or cold weather. For as long as I can remember, there’s always been something affecting something else, every year, as an excuse for price rises.

But it seems a brand new scapegoat has been found:

‘Allotment amateurs’ were also blamed for a "disproportionate amount of overall blight pressure."

Inexperienced gardeners could make blight spread by dumping infected potatoes on the compost, where the spores can spread on the wind to neighbouring farms.

*shakes fist* "You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!"

It seems those awful amateurs are lax with their pesticide regime as well (surely a another reason one might want to grow their own?):

In contrast commercial farms regularly spray the crop with fungicide to stop infection and bury any infected potatoes.

Naturally, this is very regrettable, and should stop. Says the pressure group for commercial potato farmers:

Allan Stevenson, Chairman of the Potato Council, told trade journal The Grocer, that people should be buying potatoes from the supermarket rather than growing their own as this may help spread blight.

Well, yes. You would say that, wouldn't you?

"People should be encouraged to grown their own vegetables to learn about the origins of their food,” he said.

"But the blight risk is real and it would be preferable if people bought healthy, well produced potatoes from their retailer rather than grow their own."

Preferable for your members’ pockets, you mean?

A spokesman for NSALG insisted that their members were aware of how to deal with blight and it was unfair to 'tarnish everyone with the same brush".

“People being able to grow their own should be celebrated," she said.

"Like everything else people should be supported and educated about the right and wrong ways to deal with things but I would say our members are fairly well educated in knowing how to deal with pests and diseases. It is unfair to tarnish everybody with the same brush.”

Unfair, yes, but when you have a captive market to protect, every little helps, hmm?