How Nice It Must Be To Take Pride In Your Work...

...just not, alas, if you are a professional signwriter. *sigh*

You Don't Say..?

If there's an award for 'Most Glaringly Inappropriate Headline In A Local Newspaper', I think this might be a contender...

All The News That's Fit To Print!

Woah! Steady!

Sunday Funnies...

Keep it simple, stupid...

Oh Noes! It's The Printing Press Disaster All Over Again!

Books for 20p..? Great, yes?

This process is bad for literature says Poole.

"Part of the function of publishers and high-street book shops is to filter manuscripts, to ensure the good float to the surface. It has always been subjective but it has always required both to put their money where their mouth when it comes to books they believe in. Now anyone can self-publish, that is exceptionally important."

Translation: 'OMG! We've got to share our captive market now with just anybody! Even...the hoi polloi!' 

See also: journalists vs bloggers

Physician, Take A Good Look At Yourself In A Mirror...

Over at CiF, another broadside against the awful terrible Tory (actually Labour!) policy that sees those in receipt of state benefits being asked to justify that they are applied correctly:

The assessors do not ask GPs like me to provide any medical information about patients to help them make their decisions, even though someone may have received incapacity benefits for many years.

The GP herself - who remains anonymous, of course - shows no insight as to why this might not be considered such a good idea.

And of course, the comments are filled with those supporting this idea, and hurling invective at ATOS. This one, in particular, sums up so many:

Ahhh, yes, the idea that the medical profession are modern saints, always thinking of the best interests of the patient, shunning the modern capitalistic drive to create easy 'get out of jail free' policies...

Meanwhile...

Who would have thought that the future of weight loss might lie in the hands of the inventor of the Segway? Dean Kamen, creator of the two-wheeled wonder, along with a team from Aspire Bariatrics, of Philadelphia, has applied for a patent for a pump that can suck food and drink straight out of the stomach.

Say what?!

Users are able to stuff their face before draining their stomach by connecting the pump to a valve surgically installed in their abdominal wall. The makers hope to use it to treat the morbidly obese, and to provide an alternative to a gastric bypass.

Oh, good grief! Well, surely no doctor would countenance this?

Initial setbacks – and here's the really yucky part – have occurred because the pump struggles to break up large foods. One patient reported "clogging" and had to avoid eating cauliflower, broccoli, Chinese food, stir fry, snow peas, pretzels, chips and steak. No chips? It will never catch on.

Don't worry. I'm sure it's just a minor setback. And I'm sure no-one from the 'do no harm!' medical profession will prescribe it.

Right..?

What Is It They Always Say? Follow The Money!

...and oh, boy, they certainly intend to:

But remember, it's all about 'closure' for the victims (if there really are victims), and justice at last (though a dead man can never be tried, at least under current law, but surely we wouldn't overturn laws to please a mob, would we?). Not about filthy lucre, oh, dear me, no! Perish the thought! How very dare you suggest it!

Nor is it about the rapacious demand for control and surveillance and the burdens of a state that distrusts everyone all the time. Oh, dear me, no.

I look at this circus, this return to the Salem Witch Trials (but hey, they were one up on us, they at least accused live people who could mount a defence!) and I think we've gone stark, staring mad. Maybe it's something in the water? It's a brave blogger or journalist who will swim against this tide.

I'd feel sorry for the BBC, but then I remember they've played their part in fostering a culture which leads to this sort of thing.

And then I remember whose money it is that the BBC will be handing out...

Everyone's Working With Everyone Else...

...but no-one's actually doing anything...

Frail and elderly residents of sheltered housing in north Hull say their lives are being made a misery by a gang of yobs who have torched a car and pelted windows with eggs.

Time for the forces of law and order to swing into action? Or will they wait until one of their own is affected?

A spokesman for Sanctuary Housing, a national housing association, said: "We are aware of problems to do with antisocial behaviour in the area and we are working closely with Hull Citysafe to address the concerns of tenants."

The spokesman said the tenants' quality of life is important and its staff are working closely with Humberside Police, Hull City Council and other agencies to tackle antisocial behaviour. He said: "We are taking this very seriously."

Justine Mortimer, Hull City Council's neighbourhood nuisance manager, said: "The neighbourhood nuisance team is working with Humberside Police, Sanctuary Housing, Mr Chapman and other residents in the area to address reports of antisocial behaviour."

Ah. Well, I'm sure the tea and biscuits at the various meeting and briefings are of the highest quality...

It's Not A Change In The Law That's Needed...

...it's a change in the attitudes of the public sector:

The DPP revealed the change in tactics yesterday as he responded to the criticism and said he will not hesitate to call for a change in the law.

Pointless. Utterly pointless. Yet more evidence (as if it were needed) that Kier Starmer is as much use as a chocolate teapot...

Ann Clwyd, a Labour MP whose 2003 FGM Act bans girls being taken abroad to have the procedure, said teachers, doctors and police had shown "a lack of sufficient will to confront minority ethnic groups on such an issue".

She added: "It's very nice to get a law through Parliament, but if it isn't acted upon, it isn't worth the paper it's written on."

Starmer's solution? Try a different law!

Mr Starmer said he did not want to repeal existing anti-FGM laws, as that would "send the wrong message", but he conceded "the legislation clearly isn't nearly enough on its own". His FGM "action plan" also pledges to "explore whether evidence to prosecute offences under other legislation is possible and may be easier to support".

He targeted the Domestic Violence, Crime and Victims Act, which creates an offence of "causing or allowing a child or vulnerable adult to die or suffer serious physical harm", as route to tougher action.

Clearly, a man who only has a hammer to solve his problems...

An Association of Chief Police Officers spokesman said: "Detection can be difficult because some children are exposed to the practice before they enter the schooling system. There are dedicated officers working in this area and police will investigate where there is information that such practices are occurring. Officers are working with community representatives to highlight serious health issues that can arise."

Stop 'working with community representatives' and start arresting them!

If it helps to get your outrage on, try to imagine they pinched some 20 year old starlet's bum 30 years ago... 

And stop hiring public health workers from the cultures that tolerate this:

I moved to England in 2011 and, through my work, I have seen women, some Somali, who have needed to have an operation [deinfibulation] to give birth. But when they come back for a second child they have again been sewn up [reinfibulation], so it is possible they are having FGM in the UK. I want to help other ladies. I feel complete but I don't want girls to go through this.

That's a quote from 'Aissa Edon, 30, a midwife working at Ealing Hospital, London.'

What does she do with her information, other than give it to a newspaper reporter? Perhaps a few high-profile trials of those who turn a blind eye will do the trick.

I suggest we start with Aissa.

You Might Be Putting Your Faith In The Wrong People...

Mr Miller wants people to report any unsavoury activity to the trust so he can build up a database of incidents and pass the information to the police.

"We may find it happens at certain times of the day," he said. "I'm hearing all these things anecdotally as I'm working but the police can't do much about it unless they catch someone in the act."

Why expect them to do anything at all? They don't seem to see it as part of their job...

What they do see as part of their job is something the public would never imagine:

At 10.30pm that night, while her boyfriend Ricky Strachan was still scouring the streets, two police officers knocked on the door.

Had they found the car? No, they had come to give her ‘words of advice’ about the way she was ‘handling things on Facebook’.

Lesley said: ‘They were all over my laptop taking screen grabs. The female officer wrote something in her notebook and made me sign it.

‘I asked them to clarify that I was still the victim here and not the criminal. She just said: “We’ve got to make sure we’ve got everything covered.”’

It's hard not to disagree that this is 'typical of the way in which the modern police ‘service’ find investigating exciting new ‘crimes’ much more to their taste than actually going out on the streets catching old- fashioned criminals', isn't it..?

Never Mind The Horses On The Pitch...

...what about the elephant in the room?

York cricketers have been left on a sticky wicket due to horses invading their pitch. Hopgrove Playing Fields, in Malton Road, are in danger of being seriously damaged by stray horses regularly getting on to the pitches, churning up the ground and leaving piles of manure, it has been claimed.

Richard Kerrison, chairman of Stockton and Hopgrove Cricket Club, said he feared the playing fields would become unusable if nothing was done to address the problem.

Now, why would 'nothing be done'?

“We have rung the council and the police and they seem to say there’s nothing we can do. It’s ruining peoples’ enjoyment.”

Gosh. It's a mystery. Who could these horses possibly belong to?

Will This Get Logan Smith Shunned By The Progressives?

In a column raging about Twitter's 'I'm not racist but...' meme, he notes:

The most disturbing thing about @YesYoureRacist isn’t the racism itself. It’s that the people I retweet - the vast majority of which appear to be teenagers - genuinely don’t understand whether they’re being racist. It’s a generation that never had to grow up during the times of Jim Crow, civil rights marches or apartheid, and has never been confronted by the institutional racism that older generations saw on a daily basis. As a result, many teens seem to think racism simply means active hatred of another race, and not the apparent prejudices and stereotypes displayed by the people I retweet.

Good grief, Logan! Are you really saying that institutional racism is no longer a problem?

Wow! Some real heavy-hitters are going to be gunning for you...

The New 'We're Just Standing Around With Our Thumbs Up Our Arses'...

Insp Brad Dickel, of Leigh police, invited the resident to call him directly with any information.

He added: “It’s something we are aware of, we’ve used a multi-agency approach and a number of enquries are ongoing.”

That's nice for you. Mind how you go, officer. Watch out for reports about lions!

" They come here because it is so colourful, exciting and lively..."

"..., but when they’ve been here for a bit they want to make it just like back home."

No, no. It's not what you think!

Stereotypically, they are hard workers, miserly, and fastidious doorstep polishers, and they have flooded the trendiest part of Berlin with yuppie residents since the fall of the city’s infamous Wall over two decades ago.

The newcomers hail from a wealthy region in Germany’s south-west called Swabia. But their presence in the capital has now provoked a furious outburst from one of the country’s leading politicians, who has accused them of importing nauseating provincialism to metropolitan Berlin.

Quite a turn-up for the books, eh?

Well, They've At Least Learnt Not To Use The Phrase 'Learning Lessons'...

Paul Dyson, independent chair of Hull's safeguarding children board, said: "The board takes extremely seriously cases which result in injuries of this kind to children. The board is aware of this case and, now that the criminal case is concluding, will consider whether any further learning is required."

Because that's always a dead giveaway...

As is the fact that - despite concerns - there was no official record:

Jon Plant, city safeguarding children manager, said: "The child was not previously on an 'at risk' register or child protection plan with Hull children's services.

"Following the incident, immediate steps were taken by professionals to remove the child and ensure their long-term wellbeing and to ensure that those responsible for causing the injuries were brought to justice."

Yes, you were very prompt after the baby was scalded with the bathwater. Pity you didn't do something before...

Health visitors and social services are understood to have had concerns about the baby in the months before it happened and had failed to gain access to see her on 12 separate occasions.

And yet, the squalor in which an inadequate young couple were bringing up a child provoked no urgency:

The Mail can reveal the authorities failed to gain access to the Bransholme house the couple were living in, despite warning signs such as 20 bags of rubbish and hundreds of soiled nappies piled high outside.

If that's 'taking cases extremely seriously', one can only wonder how they deal with the rest...

Exercise In Futility...

Cawthray, who has twice been jailed for rape, was locked up for life in 2002 after kidnapping a 14-year-old girl.

He grabbed the schoolgirl at a bus stop near Leeds and was dragging her towards a brook when he was disturbed and ran off.

A judge imposed an indeterminate sentence with a minimum recommendation of five years because of the risk Cawthray posed to young women. He was told he would not be released by the Parole Board until it was satisfied he no longer posed a risk and would then be on licence for life.

It didn't take them long to 'satisfy themselves' of his low risk potential, as he was moved to an open prison.

And....

Sean Cawthray, 41, was last seen at the prison at 5.30pm on Sunday and is believed to have absconded before 8.30pm.

Shocker, I'm sure you'll agree.

Detective Inspector Dominic Graham, of South Gloucestershire CID, said: "We are committed to locating, returning to custody and charging anyone unlawfully at large.

"Officers work closely with HMP Leyhill and other police forces to track down absconders promptly and keep any potential risk to the public to a minimum."

I guess you get a lot of practice?

It's Quite Simple, Harker: I Don't Want To Pay For You To Have Kids...

At a time of austerity, there was little sympathy for those who could be called better off, and polls showed that 85% of voters were in favour. I have five kids myself, and when I wrote that £43k is not a lot of money when you have a lot of mouths to feed, it's fair to say that I didn't get a lot of love in return.

...no, not just you personally (though I don't think we need more of you, frankly, but there's always the slim chance the kids will turn out not to be race-hustling socialists with enormous chips on their shoulders).

I don't want to pay - via tax - huge sums in child benefit to large families wherever they are and whatever they do. Simples!

And I don't want to pay for small ones either. Like this one:

I'm one of the people that will be affected by the child benefit cuts, because I earn more than £50,000 a year. I know this might sound like a large salary on its own but that is without context, and that is what this argument is missing – context. I'm a single mother and I work full-time, meaning that I am reliant on childcare. My son has Asperger's syndrome and getting him the care he needs is costly; little support is available via the NHS. In order to achieve that salary I have to live in one of the most expensive areas of the country and therefore pay a significantly high rent (buying a house is an unachievable dream).

You see, she just has to live in a nice area in London. And I just have to be taxed to pay for it.

No more. The money tap's being turned off. It's about bloody time.

No-One's Asking You To 'Speculate', Claire...

Avon and Somerset Police spokeswoman Claire Stanley said: "A thorough investigation is under way and we are exploring various lines of enquiry. However, at this stage it is too early to speculate about a possible motive for the graffiti."

Really? Even though the local 'anarchist' idiots have confessed?

In a note posted online, the anonymous group admitted targeting the front entrance, smashing windows and daubing "liberate" in graffiti on an adjacent wall.

...

The group went on to criticise the "hypocritical mind set" of zoos which "put themselves forward as champions of conservation".

*sighs*

Next Time, She Might Go Before She Leaves Home..?

Natalie Turner, of Kirkby Drive, Ripon, was travelling on the 36 bus from Ripon to Harrogate to visit a friend on December 13, when she had to get off the bus for medical reasons.

Miss Turner explained she was ill to the driver and needed to leave the bus in Ripley to use the public toilet.

Despite holding a valid £4.80 bus ticket, the bus driver told her she would not be allowed back on the bus or on the next bus if she left to use the toilet –so the 19-year-old student had no choice but to walk along the dark rural route to Harrogate in minus two degrees.

 And mum is, of course, furious. And does, of course, charge straight into the fray in the local newspaper:

Miss Turner’s mum Vikki, 46, said she is “appalled at the blatant disregard for a young girl, travelling alone, in extreme temperatures in the dark along a lonely road.”

Mrs Turner, a nurse for a GP practice in Ripon, told the Gazette: “Natalie didn’t have any cash on her and was only wearing a short skirt with tights and a leather jacket instead of a coat.”

Bit hard to see how that's something that's the fault of the bus company.

H/T: APILN

Hey, If Even You Don't Know The Law...

A Strathclyde Police spokeswoman said: 'We have received no complaint in relation to this incident.

'We have passed on the footage and will look into the matter.

'In general terms, the police have no powers to stop the public filming or taking photographs, but this can very much depend on the circumstances.'

But they were unavailable to comment on what these circumstances may be.

It seems the police are recruiting people who are incapable of following direct orders:

In 2010 a letter was circulated by the Association of Chief Police Officers in Scotland (ACPOS) that confirmed the public have 'no powers' to stop the public filming them.

The letter, draughted by David McCall, assistant chief constable for British Transport Police, reads: 'I seek your support in reminding your officers and staff that they should not prevent anyone from taking photographs in public.

'There are no powers prohibiting the taking of photographs, film or digital images in public places.

'Therefore members of the public and press should not be prevented from doing so.

'Once an image has been recorded, the police have no power to delete or confiscate it.'

We constantly hear - from sites like Insp Gadget - how out of touch the top brass are, how they have no idea of life on the front line, etc. It seems some have decided to therefore pay as little attention to them as they do to the wishes of the general public.

I wonder how long I'd hold my job, should I decide that I knew better than those paying my wages?