How Nice It Must Be To Take Pride In Your Work...

...just not, alas, if you are a professional signwriter. *sigh*

You Don't Say..?

If there's an award for 'Most Glaringly Inappropriate Headline In A Local Newspaper', I think this might be a contender...

All The News That's Fit To Print!

Woah! Steady!

Sunday Funnies...

Keep it simple, stupid...

Oh Noes! It's The Printing Press Disaster All Over Again!

Books for 20p..? Great, yes?

This process is bad for literature says Poole.

"Part of the function of publishers and high-street book shops is to filter manuscripts, to ensure the good float to the surface. It has always been subjective but it has always required both to put their money where their mouth when it comes to books they believe in. Now anyone can self-publish, that is exceptionally important."

Translation: 'OMG! We've got to share our captive market now with just anybody! Even...the hoi polloi!' 

See also: journalists vs bloggers

Physician, Take A Good Look At Yourself In A Mirror...

Over at CiF, another broadside against the awful terrible Tory (actually Labour!) policy that sees those in receipt of state benefits being asked to justify that they are applied correctly:

The assessors do not ask GPs like me to provide any medical information about patients to help them make their decisions, even though someone may have received incapacity benefits for many years.

The GP herself - who remains anonymous, of course - shows no insight as to why this might not be considered such a good idea.

And of course, the comments are filled with those supporting this idea, and hurling invective at ATOS. This one, in particular, sums up so many:

Ahhh, yes, the idea that the medical profession are modern saints, always thinking of the best interests of the patient, shunning the modern capitalistic drive to create easy 'get out of jail free' policies...

Meanwhile...

Who would have thought that the future of weight loss might lie in the hands of the inventor of the Segway? Dean Kamen, creator of the two-wheeled wonder, along with a team from Aspire Bariatrics, of Philadelphia, has applied for a patent for a pump that can suck food and drink straight out of the stomach.

Say what?!

Users are able to stuff their face before draining their stomach by connecting the pump to a valve surgically installed in their abdominal wall. The makers hope to use it to treat the morbidly obese, and to provide an alternative to a gastric bypass.

Oh, good grief! Well, surely no doctor would countenance this?

Initial setbacks – and here's the really yucky part – have occurred because the pump struggles to break up large foods. One patient reported "clogging" and had to avoid eating cauliflower, broccoli, Chinese food, stir fry, snow peas, pretzels, chips and steak. No chips? It will never catch on.

Don't worry. I'm sure it's just a minor setback. And I'm sure no-one from the 'do no harm!' medical profession will prescribe it.

Right..?

What Is It They Always Say? Follow The Money!

...and oh, boy, they certainly intend to:

But remember, it's all about 'closure' for the victims (if there really are victims), and justice at last (though a dead man can never be tried, at least under current law, but surely we wouldn't overturn laws to please a mob, would we?). Not about filthy lucre, oh, dear me, no! Perish the thought! How very dare you suggest it!

Nor is it about the rapacious demand for control and surveillance and the burdens of a state that distrusts everyone all the time. Oh, dear me, no.

I look at this circus, this return to the Salem Witch Trials (but hey, they were one up on us, they at least accused live people who could mount a defence!) and I think we've gone stark, staring mad. Maybe it's something in the water? It's a brave blogger or journalist who will swim against this tide.

I'd feel sorry for the BBC, but then I remember they've played their part in fostering a culture which leads to this sort of thing.

And then I remember whose money it is that the BBC will be handing out...

Everyone's Working With Everyone Else...

...but no-one's actually doing anything...

Frail and elderly residents of sheltered housing in north Hull say their lives are being made a misery by a gang of yobs who have torched a car and pelted windows with eggs.

Time for the forces of law and order to swing into action? Or will they wait until one of their own is affected?

A spokesman for Sanctuary Housing, a national housing association, said: "We are aware of problems to do with antisocial behaviour in the area and we are working closely with Hull Citysafe to address the concerns of tenants."

The spokesman said the tenants' quality of life is important and its staff are working closely with Humberside Police, Hull City Council and other agencies to tackle antisocial behaviour. He said: "We are taking this very seriously."

Justine Mortimer, Hull City Council's neighbourhood nuisance manager, said: "The neighbourhood nuisance team is working with Humberside Police, Sanctuary Housing, Mr Chapman and other residents in the area to address reports of antisocial behaviour."

Ah. Well, I'm sure the tea and biscuits at the various meeting and briefings are of the highest quality...

It's Not A Change In The Law That's Needed...

...it's a change in the attitudes of the public sector:

The DPP revealed the change in tactics yesterday as he responded to the criticism and said he will not hesitate to call for a change in the law.

Pointless. Utterly pointless. Yet more evidence (as if it were needed) that Kier Starmer is as much use as a chocolate teapot...

Ann Clwyd, a Labour MP whose 2003 FGM Act bans girls being taken abroad to have the procedure, said teachers, doctors and police had shown "a lack of sufficient will to confront minority ethnic groups on such an issue".

She added: "It's very nice to get a law through Parliament, but if it isn't acted upon, it isn't worth the paper it's written on."

Starmer's solution? Try a different law!

Mr Starmer said he did not want to repeal existing anti-FGM laws, as that would "send the wrong message", but he conceded "the legislation clearly isn't nearly enough on its own". His FGM "action plan" also pledges to "explore whether evidence to prosecute offences under other legislation is possible and may be easier to support".

He targeted the Domestic Violence, Crime and Victims Act, which creates an offence of "causing or allowing a child or vulnerable adult to die or suffer serious physical harm", as route to tougher action.

Clearly, a man who only has a hammer to solve his problems...

An Association of Chief Police Officers spokesman said: "Detection can be difficult because some children are exposed to the practice before they enter the schooling system. There are dedicated officers working in this area and police will investigate where there is information that such practices are occurring. Officers are working with community representatives to highlight serious health issues that can arise."

Stop 'working with community representatives' and start arresting them!

If it helps to get your outrage on, try to imagine they pinched some 20 year old starlet's bum 30 years ago... 

And stop hiring public health workers from the cultures that tolerate this:

I moved to England in 2011 and, through my work, I have seen women, some Somali, who have needed to have an operation [deinfibulation] to give birth. But when they come back for a second child they have again been sewn up [reinfibulation], so it is possible they are having FGM in the UK. I want to help other ladies. I feel complete but I don't want girls to go through this.

That's a quote from 'Aissa Edon, 30, a midwife working at Ealing Hospital, London.'

What does she do with her information, other than give it to a newspaper reporter? Perhaps a few high-profile trials of those who turn a blind eye will do the trick.

I suggest we start with Aissa.

You Might Be Putting Your Faith In The Wrong People...

Mr Miller wants people to report any unsavoury activity to the trust so he can build up a database of incidents and pass the information to the police.

"We may find it happens at certain times of the day," he said. "I'm hearing all these things anecdotally as I'm working but the police can't do much about it unless they catch someone in the act."

Why expect them to do anything at all? They don't seem to see it as part of their job...

What they do see as part of their job is something the public would never imagine:

At 10.30pm that night, while her boyfriend Ricky Strachan was still scouring the streets, two police officers knocked on the door.

Had they found the car? No, they had come to give her ‘words of advice’ about the way she was ‘handling things on Facebook’.

Lesley said: ‘They were all over my laptop taking screen grabs. The female officer wrote something in her notebook and made me sign it.

‘I asked them to clarify that I was still the victim here and not the criminal. She just said: “We’ve got to make sure we’ve got everything covered.”’

It's hard not to disagree that this is 'typical of the way in which the modern police ‘service’ find investigating exciting new ‘crimes’ much more to their taste than actually going out on the streets catching old- fashioned criminals', isn't it..?

Never Mind The Horses On The Pitch...

...what about the elephant in the room?

York cricketers have been left on a sticky wicket due to horses invading their pitch. Hopgrove Playing Fields, in Malton Road, are in danger of being seriously damaged by stray horses regularly getting on to the pitches, churning up the ground and leaving piles of manure, it has been claimed.

Richard Kerrison, chairman of Stockton and Hopgrove Cricket Club, said he feared the playing fields would become unusable if nothing was done to address the problem.

Now, why would 'nothing be done'?

“We have rung the council and the police and they seem to say there’s nothing we can do. It’s ruining peoples’ enjoyment.”

Gosh. It's a mystery. Who could these horses possibly belong to?

Will This Get Logan Smith Shunned By The Progressives?

In a column raging about Twitter's 'I'm not racist but...' meme, he notes:

The most disturbing thing about @YesYoureRacist isn’t the racism itself. It’s that the people I retweet - the vast majority of which appear to be teenagers - genuinely don’t understand whether they’re being racist. It’s a generation that never had to grow up during the times of Jim Crow, civil rights marches or apartheid, and has never been confronted by the institutional racism that older generations saw on a daily basis. As a result, many teens seem to think racism simply means active hatred of another race, and not the apparent prejudices and stereotypes displayed by the people I retweet.

Good grief, Logan! Are you really saying that institutional racism is no longer a problem?

Wow! Some real heavy-hitters are going to be gunning for you...

The New 'We're Just Standing Around With Our Thumbs Up Our Arses'...

Insp Brad Dickel, of Leigh police, invited the resident to call him directly with any information.

He added: “It’s something we are aware of, we’ve used a multi-agency approach and a number of enquries are ongoing.”

That's nice for you. Mind how you go, officer. Watch out for reports about lions!

" They come here because it is so colourful, exciting and lively..."

"..., but when they’ve been here for a bit they want to make it just like back home."

No, no. It's not what you think!

Stereotypically, they are hard workers, miserly, and fastidious doorstep polishers, and they have flooded the trendiest part of Berlin with yuppie residents since the fall of the city’s infamous Wall over two decades ago.

The newcomers hail from a wealthy region in Germany’s south-west called Swabia. But their presence in the capital has now provoked a furious outburst from one of the country’s leading politicians, who has accused them of importing nauseating provincialism to metropolitan Berlin.

Quite a turn-up for the books, eh?

Well, They've At Least Learnt Not To Use The Phrase 'Learning Lessons'...

Paul Dyson, independent chair of Hull's safeguarding children board, said: "The board takes extremely seriously cases which result in injuries of this kind to children. The board is aware of this case and, now that the criminal case is concluding, will consider whether any further learning is required."

Because that's always a dead giveaway...

As is the fact that - despite concerns - there was no official record:

Jon Plant, city safeguarding children manager, said: "The child was not previously on an 'at risk' register or child protection plan with Hull children's services.

"Following the incident, immediate steps were taken by professionals to remove the child and ensure their long-term wellbeing and to ensure that those responsible for causing the injuries were brought to justice."

Yes, you were very prompt after the baby was scalded with the bathwater. Pity you didn't do something before...

Health visitors and social services are understood to have had concerns about the baby in the months before it happened and had failed to gain access to see her on 12 separate occasions.

And yet, the squalor in which an inadequate young couple were bringing up a child provoked no urgency:

The Mail can reveal the authorities failed to gain access to the Bransholme house the couple were living in, despite warning signs such as 20 bags of rubbish and hundreds of soiled nappies piled high outside.

If that's 'taking cases extremely seriously', one can only wonder how they deal with the rest...

Exercise In Futility...

Cawthray, who has twice been jailed for rape, was locked up for life in 2002 after kidnapping a 14-year-old girl.

He grabbed the schoolgirl at a bus stop near Leeds and was dragging her towards a brook when he was disturbed and ran off.

A judge imposed an indeterminate sentence with a minimum recommendation of five years because of the risk Cawthray posed to young women. He was told he would not be released by the Parole Board until it was satisfied he no longer posed a risk and would then be on licence for life.

It didn't take them long to 'satisfy themselves' of his low risk potential, as he was moved to an open prison.

And....

Sean Cawthray, 41, was last seen at the prison at 5.30pm on Sunday and is believed to have absconded before 8.30pm.

Shocker, I'm sure you'll agree.

Detective Inspector Dominic Graham, of South Gloucestershire CID, said: "We are committed to locating, returning to custody and charging anyone unlawfully at large.

"Officers work closely with HMP Leyhill and other police forces to track down absconders promptly and keep any potential risk to the public to a minimum."

I guess you get a lot of practice?

It's Quite Simple, Harker: I Don't Want To Pay For You To Have Kids...

At a time of austerity, there was little sympathy for those who could be called better off, and polls showed that 85% of voters were in favour. I have five kids myself, and when I wrote that £43k is not a lot of money when you have a lot of mouths to feed, it's fair to say that I didn't get a lot of love in return.

...no, not just you personally (though I don't think we need more of you, frankly, but there's always the slim chance the kids will turn out not to be race-hustling socialists with enormous chips on their shoulders).

I don't want to pay - via tax - huge sums in child benefit to large families wherever they are and whatever they do. Simples!

And I don't want to pay for small ones either. Like this one:

I'm one of the people that will be affected by the child benefit cuts, because I earn more than £50,000 a year. I know this might sound like a large salary on its own but that is without context, and that is what this argument is missing – context. I'm a single mother and I work full-time, meaning that I am reliant on childcare. My son has Asperger's syndrome and getting him the care he needs is costly; little support is available via the NHS. In order to achieve that salary I have to live in one of the most expensive areas of the country and therefore pay a significantly high rent (buying a house is an unachievable dream).

You see, she just has to live in a nice area in London. And I just have to be taxed to pay for it.

No more. The money tap's being turned off. It's about bloody time.

No-One's Asking You To 'Speculate', Claire...

Avon and Somerset Police spokeswoman Claire Stanley said: "A thorough investigation is under way and we are exploring various lines of enquiry. However, at this stage it is too early to speculate about a possible motive for the graffiti."

Really? Even though the local 'anarchist' idiots have confessed?

In a note posted online, the anonymous group admitted targeting the front entrance, smashing windows and daubing "liberate" in graffiti on an adjacent wall.

...

The group went on to criticise the "hypocritical mind set" of zoos which "put themselves forward as champions of conservation".

*sighs*

Next Time, She Might Go Before She Leaves Home..?

Natalie Turner, of Kirkby Drive, Ripon, was travelling on the 36 bus from Ripon to Harrogate to visit a friend on December 13, when she had to get off the bus for medical reasons.

Miss Turner explained she was ill to the driver and needed to leave the bus in Ripley to use the public toilet.

Despite holding a valid £4.80 bus ticket, the bus driver told her she would not be allowed back on the bus or on the next bus if she left to use the toilet –so the 19-year-old student had no choice but to walk along the dark rural route to Harrogate in minus two degrees.

 And mum is, of course, furious. And does, of course, charge straight into the fray in the local newspaper:

Miss Turner’s mum Vikki, 46, said she is “appalled at the blatant disregard for a young girl, travelling alone, in extreme temperatures in the dark along a lonely road.”

Mrs Turner, a nurse for a GP practice in Ripon, told the Gazette: “Natalie didn’t have any cash on her and was only wearing a short skirt with tights and a leather jacket instead of a coat.”

Bit hard to see how that's something that's the fault of the bus company.

H/T: APILN

Hey, If Even You Don't Know The Law...

A Strathclyde Police spokeswoman said: 'We have received no complaint in relation to this incident.

'We have passed on the footage and will look into the matter.

'In general terms, the police have no powers to stop the public filming or taking photographs, but this can very much depend on the circumstances.'

But they were unavailable to comment on what these circumstances may be.

It seems the police are recruiting people who are incapable of following direct orders:

In 2010 a letter was circulated by the Association of Chief Police Officers in Scotland (ACPOS) that confirmed the public have 'no powers' to stop the public filming them.

The letter, draughted by David McCall, assistant chief constable for British Transport Police, reads: 'I seek your support in reminding your officers and staff that they should not prevent anyone from taking photographs in public.

'There are no powers prohibiting the taking of photographs, film or digital images in public places.

'Therefore members of the public and press should not be prevented from doing so.

'Once an image has been recorded, the police have no power to delete or confiscate it.'

We constantly hear - from sites like Insp Gadget - how out of touch the top brass are, how they have no idea of life on the front line, etc. It seems some have decided to therefore pay as little attention to them as they do to the wishes of the general public.

I wonder how long I'd hold my job, should I decide that I knew better than those paying my wages?

"They can’t protect the public but don’t allow the public to protect themselves.’"

Pretty much says it all, doesn't it?

Mr Edwards, 21, fired his shotgun at a van driven by Taylor as the thief accelerated towards his mother, Louisa Smith, 50. Taylor was caught after a high-speed chase but it was the farmer who endured a horrendous ordeal at the hands of police who arrested him on suspicion of attempted murder.

Well, I guess he's lucky the police's 'high speed chase' didn't kill anyone, or they might have tried to stick him on for that too!

The former public schoolboy said: ‘It’s completely changed my view of the police. They treated me like a criminal. The police have acted like bullies who have turned someone who was very supportive of their work into someone who wants nothing more to do with them.’

That's OK, they don't care about the views of the general public, as Inspector Gadget's contributors take such pains to tell us. So long as you continue to fork out for them, that is...

But even now the farmer has not had his shotgun and other weapons returned to him which he uses to control pests on his land and as a hobby.

Repeat after me: 'The process is the punishment...'

You'd Need An Electron Microscope To See My Tiny Violin This Time...

The social services chief sacked over the Baby P scandal has spoken of how her life has been unable to 'move on' since she lost her job four years ago.

She has, it seems, given an interview to - what else? - Public Servant magazine in which she seeks to portray herself as hard done by.

Isn't there a clinical term for such detachment from reality?

People used to know ask me what I'm doing now, and they're shocked when I say "nothing",' she says in the January edition of the magazine. 'They can't quite grasp that my life hasn't moved on at all in the last four years; that I can't find any work and I'm living on benefits.

'I used to have a £130,000-a-year job running my own department and was a national reference point for Ofsted for special educational needs, but no organisation will take the risk of employing me because of who I am.'

Well, actually, it's probably because you didn't run your department, you were exposed as less a 'national reference point' than an example of how not to do things, and you've become a liability and they don't want to have to spend time fighting lengthy court cases which you are still somehow fighting despite 'being on benefits'...

Shoesmith is battling for £1 million compensation after the Supreme Court refused in August 2011 to allow an appeal against a ruling that the former Haringey children’s services chief was unfairly dismissed by the then Children’s Secretary, Labour’s Ed Balls.

Who's financing this? Is it legal aid? It better damned well not be!

In the interview, Shoesmith says children are now more at risk than before the Baby P case because of the damage done to the social work profession and how social workers are now people to hide from rather than work with.

Hang on...didn't the Baby Peter murder happen because the injuries (and the men Connolly was shacked up with) were hidden from incompetent social workers under your command? Weren't they just pretending to 'work with your social workers'? Who couldn't tell the difference?

So nothing's really changed at all, has it?

I Think I've Spotted This Year's 'Van Helsing'!

It's got it all, hasn't it?

Medieval high-tech weaponry: check!
CGI monsters a go go: check!
Leading man 'o the moment: check!

Please god, we'll at least be spared the comedy monk sidekick..?

Ah, These Tribes Have Nothing To Teach Us...

A 'Guardian' article heaps praise on the distinguished anthropologist Jared Diamond:

Some tribal customs, such as widow-strangling, will not be missed, of course. "We should not romanticise traditional societies," he says. "There are horrible things that we want to avoid, but there (sic) wonderful things that we should emulate."

Things like being permissive with our children (aren't we already?) or respecting our elders. Well, when we aren't bumping them off, that is...

Nomad tribes, particularly those in the Arctic or deserts, faced with insufficient food will often kill old people or abandon them – or encourage them to commit suicide, a grim policy taken to extremes not just by the Kaulong but by people of the Banks Islands in the Pacific, whose old and sick would beg their friends to bury them alive to end their suffering, and the Chukchi, who live in the northeastern corner of Asia, who used to encourage their old folk to let themselves be strangled on the promise they would get preferential treatment in the next world. Yes, it sounds grim, admits Diamond, but it has a cruel logic: food supplies are limited and what else should they do when resources dry up? Let their children starve?

Actually, Jared, I think you'll find that's one of the 'horrible things we want to avoid' and we should probably not emulate it...

Yet More Taxonomic Confusion At The 'Mail'...

*boggle*

Sunday Funnies...

Hopefully, 2013 will be mercifully near-death-experience-free for us all!

Maybe It's Decided It Doesn't Need Them, Jonathan?

Those 'it needs most' being...those who don't live there:

Second is the impact of all this on the Jewish diaspora, especially in the US. The American Jewish attachment to Israel is profound, but US Jews also tend to be liberal with a strong sense of social justice. They will find Feiglin and Bennett hard to stomach. The Haaretz blogger who asked, "Will 2013 be the year American Jews secede from Israel?" may have got ahead of himself. Diaspora Jews will not break from Israel, but they will surely recoil from this one, albeit dominant, Israeli political camp. Feiglin's Israel is not the Israel their parents taught them to love.

It's very easy to be a wet liberal pacifist when you don't face any threat. When you are many, many miles away.

Not quite so easy when the rockets are falling...

There Goes Your Core Vote, Diane!

Local authorities should be given stronger powers to ban the spread of fried chicken shops and other fast food outlets, and end the sale of cheap alcohol from corner shops, especially near schools, according to proposals put forward by...

Wizened homunculus Tam Fry? No. No, actually.

...Diane Abbott, the shadow public health minister.

Diane Abbott gives an interview from her beach holiday 

Yeah. I know. Me too...

Discussing the need to tackle obesity and alcoholism, she said: "I am looking at planning legislation to make it easier for local authorities to ban not just McDonald's, but those chicken and chip shops that cluster around schools.

"I certainly think as part of Labour's policy review we should make it easier for local authorities to use public health criteria in planning and to stop the proliferation of chicken and chip shops. For too many children, fast food is not a treat but a dietary staple."

I can only imagine that Abbott's never taken a rush-hour train at the times schools have turned out for the day, and clocked the identity of the kids usually found tucking into the fried chicken.

If she had, she might have held her tongue.

Dan Jones - Deluded, But Still Resolute...

One of the biggest recent successes in public health has been against smoking. Punitive taxes on tobacco, better education about the health effects, a near-total ban on advertising and the marginalisation of smoking in public places seems to have worked.

'Seems to have', Dan? Either it's worked, or it hasn't. And if it's worked, why are they keeping up the pressure?

But no matter! Appearance is everything, so, onwards!

Food presents a more difficult problem: unlike tobacco, we need food to live. But trans-fats, salt and sugar are all identifiable ingredients that can be taxed and banned. It’s disagreeable to argue that government should interfere in the contents of our stomachs, but as this January will show — like every New Year before it — we are as a nation incapable of slimming on our own. We need help, before we literally choke on our own jowls.

It doesn't seem to be true, but no matter!

Slippery slope? What slippery slope?

Glenn Greenwald Is A Bit Naive, Isn't He?

Or...maybe that's just what he wants you to think:

Before getting to the merits of all this, I must say: I simply do not understand how someone who decides to become a journalist then devotes his energy to urging that the government be empowered to ban and criminalize certain ideas and imprison those who express them. Of all people who would want the state empowered to criminalize ideas, wouldn't you think people who enter journalism would be the last ones advocating that?

Well, no, Glenn, I wouldn't. And unlike Longrider, I'm not so sure you really get it, either...

How do people get so convinced of their own infallibility that they want to arrogate to themselves the power not merely to decree which views are wrong, but to use the force of the state to suppress those views and punish people for expressing them?

Gosh. It's a mystery, all right...

Maybe he just hasn't been at the 'Guardian' for very long?

I Suppose We Can't Cast Aspersions On Stacey Clarke's Taste In Men..?.

The court heard Miss Clarke, who was 26 weeks pregnant at the time, was at the house when an argument broke out with Mahmood.

Prosecutor Dale Sullivan said: "He was denying being the father of the soon-to-be-born child. A DNA test was discussed."

Following the argument Miss Clarke, 24, ordered a taxi to go home and Mahmood lashed out.

Mr Sullivan added: "She describes the defendant coming from behind her and he pulled a knife. He approached her telling her not to scream and stabbed her in the neck.

"Miss Clarke remembers bending over in an attempt to protect her baby when she was stabbed again near her shoulder and elbow.

"She wrapped herself in a curtain and made her escape."

I won't indulge my inner Mrs Merton by wondering what it was that first attracted Stacey to mentally-fragile Mahmood...

Mahmood was sectioned to a secure unit under the Mental Health Act.

Judge David Rennie added that Mahmood will only be released, if ever, after consideration by the Secretary of State.

I wonder if Stacey will be waiting..?

Never Mind, Judge, It's Unlikely You'll Have To Put Up With Him In Your Neighbourhood, Eh?

A boy of 12 who carried out more than 20 criminal acts was today released without charge - because the courts have no legal way to deal with him.

A judge heard the child's behaviour has 'deteriorated beyond control' but his low IQ means that he cannot properly understand the court process.

The judge described the situation as the 'perfect storm' as there is no way that the court could accept a guilty plea from him, as he cannot understand the implications of his acts, and they could not follow doctor's recommendations, as the boy had not been convicted.

So the only thing they can do it...let him go!

Lian Webster-Martin, defending, said: 'I don't seek to say that an absolute discharge is in the boy's best interest, but we have looked at every possible avenue.'

I expect his foster home is as far away from you as it is from District Judge Callaway's house...

We can't , of course, know his name. That would be inhumane. Apparently.

But I suspect we'll be hearing about him again. And again, and again, and again...

Loathe Him You May, But When Littlejohn's Right, He's Very, Very Right...

I'm not going to get into the ins and outs of the Op Yewtree investigation's veracity; Anna Racoon's excellent series has already done this (and check out today's post for a delightful summation in verse!).

But as Littlejohn points out, the behaviour of the police in all this should concern us all, shouldn't it?

The heavy-handed nature of some of the arrests is also troubling. Why was it necessary to nick Davidson as he arrived at Heathrow Airport, as if he was some kind of international terrorism suspect?

What was the urgency? And if there is an overwhelming case against him, why has he been released without charge until March?

Police also raided one of Davidson’s homes in Hampshire and emerged carrying boxes of ‘evidence’. Were they seriously expecting to find evidence of a 25-year-old sexual assault tucked away in a sock drawer?

This will, no doubt, bring statements such as 'Just doin' our job!' and 'We just gather evidence, it's up to the CPS!'. They should ring hollow.

Stuart Hall, who is 82, was arrested at his Cheshire home in a full-scale dawn raid. What were they expecting him to do — leg it over the back wall or try to blast his way out with a sawn-off, screaming: ‘You’ll never take me alive, copper!’

Just before Christmas, Greater Manchester Police smashed down the front door of Fred Talbot, former weatherman on This Morning with Richard and Judy, in connection with an allegation which dates back to the early Seventies. Talbot was on holiday in the Caribbean.

Given that the police wanted to question him over a complaint about something which is alleged to have taken place when he was working as a teacher 40-odd years ago, couldn’t they just have waited until he got back and invited him in for an interview?

Littlejohn wonders if this high-profile activity (cameras often invited) is related to the US 'perp-walk' procedure. Something you might expect those who claim to be above this all to decry?

Curiously, the scale and methods of these operations seem not to concern the usual Left-wing ‘human rights activists’ who are always ready to howl about police misconduct, abuse of civil liberties and the presumption of innocence.

Quite! Though the 'Guardian' did put up a 'sympathy for the Devil' piece just yesterday, it's unlikely to start to wake up and smell the coffee until a beloved Left-wing figure is arrested by our Theatrical Squad.

The police chiefs are always banging on about the need to have the police farce properly accredited - who knew they meant by RADA?

"No one seemed to know what was going off."

Police and firefighters were called to Ribblesdale Court at around 11am on Saturday because of concerns about the behaviour and safety of a man in a second-floor flat.

So what did they do? Well, disrupted the lives of everyone else, of course!

Eight flats were evacuated in Chilwell during a seven-hour stand-off between police and a resident.

Yup. Eight families were shoved out of their homes at 11:00am while the police 'negotiated'.

And why? Did the man have a bomb? A container of deadly virus?

Matthew Owen Wilkinson, 36, of Ribblesdale Court, appeared at Nottingham Magistrates' court today in connection with the incident. He is charged with one count of criminal damage and another of making threats to commit criminal damage with intent to endanger life. He was remanded in custody and will appear at Nottingham Crown Court on January 4.

Guess not...

It's 'Guess The Music Genre'..!

A nightclub has been ordered to close after a man was blasted in the leg with a shotgun.

The man, understood to be either a doorman or his friend, was attacked outside Thread, in Yeoman Street, Leicester city centre, early yesterday.

Hmmm....

Soul? Easy listening? A little country and western, maybe?

The venue, formerly Houston's, was hosting a hip hop, R'n'B and house event called the Boxing Day Banger.

Ah. Of course.

Collective Punishment Still All The Rage In 2013, Then...

The £18.5million Roscommon Way extension was opened in January in a bid to ease traffic and help Charfleets Industrial Estate on Canvey expand.

However, yobs have been using the road as a racetrack since September, causing misery for residents by revving their engines, honking their horns and causing damage to the road in the early hours.

All traffic offences. So, catch them, prosecute them, impose ASBOs.

No? What, too much like hard work, Essex Police?

An Essex Police spokesperson said: “Our policing operations to combat anti-social bikers on Roscommon Way appear to have only fixed the problem short term. We are looking into a more robust way of combating the problem in the long term.

“We are continuing to liaise with the highways authority in a bid to alter the road layout to prevent such dangerous riding.”

The plans could include introducing traffic calming measures such as speed humps or chicanes to force motorists to slow down.

Hang on, 'motorists'? I thought we were talking about 'rogue bikers'?

You'll Pardon Me If I Treat That With Scepticism?

A Metropolitan Police spokesman said Magag does not represent a ‘direct threat’ to the public.

Eh..? Then why's he under a Terrorism Order?

Magag travelled to Britain as a refugee aged 12.

His wife continues to live in a London council flat.

High Court documents detail how Magag, a married former train conductor and father of five, is closely linked to the Al-Shabaab group. He was arrested in 2007 after returning from an Al-Shabaab terrorist training camp he attended with Bilal Berjawi, a close friend. Magag was detained in Nairobi and found to be carrying three new mobile phones and over £3,000 cash.

While being held he tried to destroy phone numbers by eating a piece of paper. The following year, police in London stopped Magag and found he was carrying £1,000 in cash. Detectives believe the money was for terrorist associates.

He was also accused of sending associates to Somalia to join terrorist fighters by providing money, false passports and other documents.

You're having a laugh!

David Anderson, the independent reviewer of terror legislation, said no security measure is ‘foolproof’.

He said experts believe there may be 50 British fighters in Somalia, adding: ‘Worst case, there could now be one more – an influential one.’

Speaking about T-Pims, he said: ‘The only sure way to prevent absconding is to lock people in a high-security prison.’

Or perhaps we could deport them back to Somalia?

The Devil You Say?!?

For Ian Birrell, the penny drops:

It is hard to ignore the idea that some charities saw the disaster as a chance to raise money; why else did they all need to be there despite the duplication and slap their logos everywhere? The Lancet accused them of jostling for publicity while Médécins sans Frontièrs – which almost uniquely stopped fundraising after a few days, having made enough for its needs – told me charities loved to be in front of cameras to ensure cash flowed in to their accounts.

This would not be so bad if the money was well spent. Big chunks went on vital and immediate emergency relief to save lives. But substantial sums were blown on botched projects and needless staff costs. I visited one place were families were lured to live in wooden sheds on the promise of jobs and decent public services, only to find themselves marooned on rocky land 10 miles from town, unemployed and charged twice the going rate for water. The voices of local people were ignored by arrogant outsiders, undermining accountability and sustainable development.

As the Centre for Global Development reported this month, only a shameful 0.6% of the money spent by bilateral and multilateral donors was given to Haitian charities and businesses. Meanwhile an estimated 40% went on supporting all the foreigners dispensing aid, with their inflated housing allowances, vehicles and drivers.

Well, that sums up Haiti, Ian.

Now, about all those other huge charities...

Oh, wait, wait! Do you have a solution to this?

When it comes to development aid, the concept of giving cash to people to spend as they see fit is attracting interest. Perhaps it is time to apply similar tactics to disaster relief once the most pressing emergency needs are out of the way. In Haiti, people could have been given more than double the average annual income. It is hard to believe they would not have spent the money better than the foreigners who have achieved depressingly little.

What an awesome concept! Could we extend it to schemes here at home, maybe?

I Don't Suppose 'Standing On Your Own Two Feet' Is An Option?

A young woman has taken on the fight against homelessness after being thrown into the situation herself.

Jessica Chipperfield said she left her father's home in Addiscombe after his partner learned she was gay.

Jessica, who is sofa-surfing between friends, said: "I want to raise awareness of homelessness so people can understand the reasons for it – it is not the person's fault.

"Young people need to be given better advice and help in their way, rather than getting pushed and shoved about."

Jessica is 20. Yes. 20.

And the 'help' she thinks she ought to be given? Well, she was indeed given it.

Jessica said she was also spurred into action after being disappointed with help she received from Croydon Council over her housing problems.

She said: "They gave me an information pack and told me I can get rent for £290 to £340. There is a lack of help and advice."

No, there's not. That's it. That's all you are really entitled to. You are 20 years old, you should have a job and be independent.

She said: "At the moment I have not got a job and people are saying to me because I am homeless I cannot get a job."

What stopped you before you were homeless, then? And what is it you really want?

A Croydon Council spokesman said it was sorry Jessica was disappointed with the service she received from the council but families with children had to come first.

He said: "Like many local authorities, the council currently has a shortage of temporary accommodation and has to prioritise families with children and those who are deemed vulnerable."

Ah. Of course. You want a 'free' house.

MONA Still An Option In 2013...

Given the similarities between the attacks police said they were being treated as "potentially linked".

Similarities? What can they mean?

“He was described as being Asian, in his late teens or early 20s, between 5ft 2ins and 6ft tall, chubby with short black straight hair with his fringe brushed forward.”

“The second victim described her attacker as an Asian man aged about 30, 5ft 6ins tall with gelled hair and light stubble. He was wearing denim jeans and a dark jacket.”

I wonder if that's really the descriptive term the victims used..?

H/T: Pavlov's Cat via email

Is This Part Of Your Duty As ICT Teacher, Matthew?

Ratton School pupils are making a stand against tax avoidance by not using Google’s search engine for a week.

The plan was masterminded by Matthew Bristow, assistant headteacher for strategic ICT, because he felt a political protest against tax avoidance schemes was needed.

Strange contract you seem to have at that school. Perhaps someone in Gove's office should look it over....

Mr Bristow is encouraging all 1,200 children at the school not to use Google for searches in their ITC lessons or at home.

Because, of course, you've explained all the issues, right?

Vikash Thulasitharan, a 16-year-old Year 11 student, said, “As soon as I heard about it, I thought it was really unfair that they were not paying their taxes when others were.”

Ah. Clearly not.

Le Mot Juste...

Sometimes you read a headline and think 'Oh! That's a bit strong...':

And then you read further and....

ARGH! KILL IT! WITH FIRE!!