The Tyranny Of The Breeders…

Kirsty Desire-Delannoy and her husband Mark had only moved into a house opposite Greene for a month before she started being abusive to their five-year-old son.

Mrs Bryan said: "On May 29, their son was playing out with another child and Greene took exception to where they were playing and asked them to move on.

"The boy's mum explained she wanted them to play directly outside the front of her house to keep an eye on him as he is only five."

What’s wrong with your garden, then? Or taking him to a local park?

Is Jipdane, Orchard Park, some sort of urban hellhole without gardens or parks? Let's see:

Hmm, looks like plenty of little gardens there to keep your children safe in...

She was bound over to keep the peace for 12 months but just three days after appearing in court she again had a confrontation with the children.

The children were again playing outside their home when she allegedly swore and shouted at them and asked their parents what they had "bred".

*gasp!!*

Doesn't she realise that one must never, ever, ever imply (by word, deed, thought or omission of same) that children are anything other than an unalloyed delight? The saviours of our future? No matter how they are behaving? It’s the re-education camps for you, Mrs Greene!

And we know just the people that’ll deliver you there!

Officers were called and Greene was handcuffed and put into the back of a police van before being driven to a police station, where she spent a night in a cell. A nurse had to return to the pensioner's home to collect her numerous medications, the court was told.

Oh, for….! Try getting the police to come out for some spitting, swearing yob that’s lounging outside your front gate! You’ll be told ‘ We've no resources…’.

The Honorary Recorder of Hull and the East Riding, Judge Michael Mettyear, said a "sensible" conclusion to the case was a restraining order. He said: "She is just a lonely old lady who is confused and making a bit of a nuisance."

I don’t see where the ‘confusion’ comes in, frankly, unless it’s her failure to accept the modern doctrine of ‘Children should be seen and heard at the top of their lungs and don’t you dare say anything about it!’…

As for causing a nuisance, well, it takes two to tango, doesn't it?

"None of the neighbours want blood in this case. They want nothing more than a bit of peace.

"They say this lady misbehaves and is loud and boisterous and a nuisance. It empowers me to make a restraining order. "

Maybe Mrs Greene ‘wants a bit of peace’ too? Maybe the children are the ones that are ‘loud and boisterous and a nuisance’?

Speaking to the Mail after yesterday's case, Greene, who survived the Hull Blitz during the Second World War, said: "I never bothered anyone. It has all been a waste of taxpayers' money.

"The police just threw me in the van and the cuffs hurt my wrists.

"I can't believe I was treated like this at my age. I have never been so miserable.

"I just want a nice cup of tea and a roast pork sandwich now."

Oh, now you've done it, Mrs Greene! Couldn't you have plumped for a cheese sandwich? Your neighbours might be Muslims…